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Fall in Amagansett - I went there alone and stayed at my friend’s summer house. Amagansett is in the Hampton’s on Long Island, NY. Their house is very beautiful, cozy and about a block away from the ocean. All the roads to the ocean are sand and it’s a wonderful short walk to the beaches. It was so quiet and peaceful, just what I needed.
The ocean is powerful, amazing and calming...I spent hours walking the beach, even though it was cold and windy I didn't mind.
I had just lost my husband a few weeks earlier and I felt like I couldn't breathe and I didn't want to go far, but I knew that I needed to be alone. For almost a year I was on "auto-pilot" and when he died I stayed in "auto-pilot" - it was almost as if I didn't know how else to be.
The beginning of my crash was the second day in Amagansett just around sunset. I was walking the beach and fell apart. I cried and cried, sat down in the sand and sobbed until I was exhausted. For a long time I sat there and looked out, listened to the never ending sound of the waves crashing along the shore and felt completely void. I wasn't lonely, I was empty.
Almost six months later and I'm still trying to find myself and a way to continue on and adjust to being without Jerry.
© 2008 Pamela Viscomi Yates
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