The Women I Love

You are beautiful women;
strong, reflective, mighty
Weeping willow, bending with the wind - not opposing it
Fighting your demons, your battles with endurance and dignity 
I am in awe of you, I am in awe of you
The pages of your book,
a slow read for a woman like me
Each turning of a word,
a page full of awakening and awareness 
Years of discovery
Years of uncovering 
your facade 
Finding your truth,
your truth 
Your story - your way
Each page exposing another layer
A complicated life, a simple life
 - and like a flower in partial bloom 
the best is yet to be revealed
I remain in the shadows...slowly descending
Outstretched wing span of an eagle, 
heart and soul of a dove;
the power of a free bird in flight 
Delicate wings of an angel
An image of godliness that takes my breath away
You bring tears to my eyes, an ache to my heart,
the way a new mother feels at the first sight of her child
A feeling of greatness, humility and expansion,
that bursts into nothingness, vast and boundary-less  
You are a magnificent creature 
You are beautiful women
strong, reflective, mighty
I remain in the shadows...slowly descending
A weeping willow, bending with the wind - not opposing it
Fighting your demons, your battles with endurance and dignity 
I am in awe of you, I am in awe of you

© 2016 TrilbyYates 

Wisdom Of Dorian Gray

Windowsill view 
of a world 
that has stood still 
for seven years
Seven years 
and all I can do 
and all I can say 
is that the mirrored 
image of myself 
doesn't hold a candle 
to the image or
the wisdom of Dorian Gray 
Self imposed isolation 
so many demons to slay 
ghosts that have a need 
for acknowledgement 
and a clear path 
to send them 
on their heavenly way
Chalky white lines 
have been drawn 
sidewalk zigzag 
and connecting 
all the loose ends 
from you to me 
and back around 
introspective reflecting
Things we didn't 
talk about and nothing 
can explain the path 
that was taken 
or the loss 
that was found
Here I stand
one foot 
in the clouds
the other 
firmly planted 
grave site 
in the ground
It is so obvious 
to anyone with an eye 
for the absurd
surround sound blaring
unanswered questions 
insecurities burned
...into the heart
compassionately held
yet never understood
or heard
The nights continue 
to leave me 
feeling empty handed 
a critical angst
not to spend the rest 
of my life without love
or feeling stranded
And it's not for fear of solitude 
or the emptiness of my bed
it has more to do 
with the natural notion
of how the body 
is nourished
and how the soul is fed
Windowsill view 
of a world 
that has stood still 
for seven years
seven years 
and all I can do 
and all I can say 
is that the mirrored 
image of myself 
doesn't hold a candle 
to the image or
the wisdom of Dorian Gray 

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Death

Some people say to me 
With good intentions
Possible discomfort
- or lack of experience
It's time to move forward
Start living your life
Reminding me repeatedly
I am no longer married to you
I am no longer your wife
Hold your head up sweet darling
You don't need to cry - anymore
...that is not what he would have wanted 
That is not what his death was for...
Sadly he lost his right to want anything 
When he left this place of existence
That night he took not only his last breath 
But my path of least resistance 
Leaving behind a blue vase 
A dozen beautiful white roses 
That crashed without warning 
Tiny irreplaceable pieces onto the floor
A love note of forever and forever 
 - and then never more
There is no subtle way to share or explain
And as I have said before - there is no time limit
On grieving or the depth of the pain
The process of moving from here to there
To know the finality of death - if ever
Nothing ever feels right
Nothing ever seems fair
And once that gut wrenching poison 
Seeped deep into my heart 
And took hold - there was no time
...and truth be told
It eventually became the norm - 
It has found its safe haven
it has found its home
It wakes me in the middle of the night
Stealing away any sense of peace 
A prisoner of my own confine
A battle within - a battle I continue to fight
A sweet reverie only to be replaced
By childhood demons that move so slowly
The demons we battled and put to rest 
So many years ago
The vivid colors and visuals 
Of that moment in time
...one night seven years ago 
There is no sensible reason  
They have not faded they remain sublime
Yesterday is not just a memory 
It has become a way of life
And maybe that is all part of some empirical plan
Giving us a story we can hold onto 
- to breathe easy when there is no rhyme
To engage that perfect fit 
- the perfection in our own disguise ...
The balance between 
All the good and all the bad 
Life experiences the happy 
- and the sad
To share the joke 
That is on you/me with someone
Who will not judge
The error of our ways
Or the fear of being abandoned 
 - and always feeling safe
Without having to say a word 
A simple look deep into each others eyes
Knowing nothing 
Should be taken for granted
...a heartfelt word to the wise
Truly knowing everything will be fine
And you and I knew it all too well
We just didn't know the length - of our time line...

© 2014 TrilbyYates