Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Rose Colored Shades


Sometimes I wonder 
what could have 
and shouldn't have been 
If we were what we intended 
would some consider 
it a morally deviant sin?
Seductively stepping off of this 
highly sanctioned ground 
taking a second non-connected look 
never turning completely around
to see the difference
between you, me and them
There is nothing left to do
and less than little to say
Acutely aware how things 
will begin to change 
when everyone's comfort zone 
edges begin to fray 
I'll continue to look at you 
wearing rose colored shades
There isn't anything 
anyone can say
There isn't a road map 
leading me in or out
getting lost is my forte 
I'll sleep between 
dusk and dawn 
remaining hidden in the grey
And when the sun starts to rise 
I'm better off hanging 
in the distance 
then I will rest my eyes
There is nothing left to do
and less than little to say
And I know things will begin to change 
when everyone's comfort zone 
edges begin to fray 
I'll continue to look at you 
wearing rose colored shades

© 2014 TrilbyYates

Friday, June 7, 2013

I Dream Of You

I dream of you...(softly)
I dream of you...(tearfully)
dream of you...(whisper)
I dream about you...(loudly)
I dream about you...(tearfully)
I scream for you...(scream)
I SCREAM...(anger)
SCREAM to the heavens...(pissed off)
CLENCHED FISTS to the heavens...(without fear)
I SCREAM FOR YOU...(hysterically)
I SCREAM FOR ANSWERS...(pleading)
I scream without reply...(reluctantly)
I cry for you, weep uncontrollably for you...(sorrowfully)
I ache, my heart aches...(painfully)
I curse the heavens...(sparks fly)
I curse the angels, god, day, night...(fuck)
I curse the existence of this life...(fuck)
I fall to my knees and beg for you...(pleading)
I beg without ego or pride...(alone)
I beg for you...(relentlessly)
I linger...(hopefully)
I linger with one foot in the past...(mournfully)
I linger with peace in my heart in the past...(joyfully)
I hang on the edges with one foot in the present...(letting go)
I hang on the edges...one foot in the present...(surrendering)

I dream of you...love(softly)
I dream of you...love(tearfully)
dream of you...love(whisper)

I ask...for you...I reach for you...i reach



© 2013 Trilby


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Twitter



Twitter – jump off – 8.21.12 to date and counting….


1 - His song is carried in the wind like a breath from a past filled with love

2 - I'm lost in a world of memories, music and thought - my words, my writing keep me sane...for the most part :)

3 - Q. Do you rhyme when you write your poetry? A. No, not something I intentionally avoid, it's just not part of my natural flow.

4 - Working on a new book...Widow's Walk...it has been suggested that it will be cathartic! My name is Trilby, I am a widow...

5 - Early Sunday morning the rain is falling wind blowing the empty space next to me woke me up...sounds of silence

6 - TV, internet, ipod, stereo, help quiet the...lack of...

7 - A new day...not much has changed...tides up, moved the room around...new view – life

8 - Scattered thoughts with one line that is steadfast, a common thread...a sense of loss shadows my days...shake free from it he whispers...

9 - Is there every a time when loss fades to fond memories? When a smile has laughter on the cusp? Soul singing, soul singing...longing words

10 - The feel of your hand in mine, a tender kiss, shared smile, eyes meet, a peaceful heart - you are here with me...I wake up confused...tears

11 - Two steps forward several steps back to a time when life was full of love you and me never enough time, now the weekends are too long...

12 - Our father who art in heaven, ourfatherwhoartinheavenourfatherwhoartinheaven...questions, pleading...no answer-silence...

13 - Oh to take that walk, look out to sunset, pink, purple harmonious - eyes meet, the perfection of a moment - then crumbs fall to the floor...

14 - Steps taken the past will follow, the heart lingers in tomorrow - stand still it will pass you by, blow kisses to the sky...

15 - September spirits gather, slight wind carries a song to you while October waits its turn to mourn - Fall, how appropriate..

16 - Bulls eye, right on target, nail on the head...you said it, I felt it...heart explodes into tiny pieces

17 - Empty spaces, between each line there is a void, a shadow dances in the night simply waiting for what will follow...

18 - Join the fight, tell my story, symbolic wrist band - bold words - FIGHT LUNG CANCER...words from an aching heart sound hollow...

19 - A tiny box, open slowly, a piece of paper folded neatly, placed inside. Unfold, words written. TY I love you and will always be with you JY

20 - Peeking from behind the shadows there is nothing but a hollow echo that bounces back and forth, back and forth...endless echo...bounce

21 - Guilt, guilt, every minute counts. Denial is a tool - keep the ticking time bomb tick-tock for another day. Oh to have those days back...

22 - From heart to head and back again...heart aches, head is the medicine that keeps the fever down and memories at bay...dream on love...

23 - Twin flame - to have experienced unconditional love and acceptance makes life cold and dark when the other flame has been blown out...

24 - Flowers in my hair, you would smile and kiss me...such an angel you would say while holding my hand as if time were slipping away...

25 - Memories are like little movies we can play over and over - black and white or in color, add music for special effect.

26 - Pray, plead, promise - beg, cry, scream and swear. Deny or accept. I'm convinced nothing can change the path we were on, NOTHING!

27 - There are a few things that help numb what has already died within...most are illegal...

28 - Laughter fades into the night as shadows turn from shades of gray to liquid silver sparking glimmers of light that seep into my heart.

29 - La dolce vita and a cup of espresso with the Pope, a ferry ride to any island, walk the beach, feel the sand the sun pouring light into love

30 - The heart weeps and opens wide the doors to self imposed Penance; just another Blues song with a touch of Lennon

31 - Cancer he says in a cold but yet humane way. A pro at dropping the bomb like a WWII 18 year old soldier in the cockpit of a B52.

32 - No looking back, visions are like memories being played over and over without a pause button for some sense of relief...

33 - Every second, every moment is etched in my mind - green eyes, promises, music, words, tears, touch, kiss, scent, love, fear, terror, loss

...to be continued...

© 2013 Trilby