Showing posts with label ego. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ego. Show all posts

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Looming Weapon Of Destruction

I am not afraid because you say I do not exist 
I will not question my own faith 
or hide in the shadows 
of your looming weapon of destruction
...on the contrary
- If to you, I do not exist, you can never destroy me 

If I am the water slipping through your fingers 
you can never drink me, drown me;
or use me to wash away the stain of your choices
If I am the sand beneath your feet 
you can never use me or my labors
to build your castles in the sky 
Because when the tide rises 
I will wash away into the glorious sea
I will be of no use to you - only to me
If I am the flip side of your bigotry, 
the brunt of your misogyny or racism;
prisoner chained by your legislated laws 
If my protected rights 
are restricted by your ignorance,
by the stroke of your pen -
None of this will impact me

You see,

I am not afraid because you say I do not exist 
I will not question my own faith 
or hide in the shadows 
of your looming weapon of destruction
...on the contrary
- if to you, I do not exist you can never destroy me. 

If I am indeed the flip side of what you are 
than nothing about you can touch me 
Because I am invisible in your world, 
I do not exist and my power is in - that I am 
- and your ignorance keeps you oblivious
My power is that you can not destroy 
what you do not believe in or acknowledge 
You stand on a podium to impose your stance, your presence 
You and the like, use fraud as a "prop" to legitimize ego
I stand on my own 
I stand with my feet planted 
in Mother Earth
My head high, eyes to the sky - rain or shine 
There is no one that will ever hold me higher 
than I hold myself

You see,

I am not afraid because you say I do not exist 
I will not question my own faith 
or hide in the shadows 
of your looming weapon of destruction
...on the contrary
- if to you, I do not exist you can never destroy me.

© 2016 TrilbyYates 

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Un-reciprocated Possibilities


Words dripping from my lips
mid sentence lapse of judgment
makes no sense to let them fall
but I'm feeling empty headed
And I can't get beyond my own thoughts 
and on a better day I would know
it's not about you at all...
- this is just about me

... now I'm stumbling around
like one of the three blind mice,
and maybe I should be undercover
but I can't seem to get out of my own way 
and you could look right through me 
and not have a thing to say
 - and it would be alright

Maybe you did not feel the burn the way I did
or the earth move beneath your feet 
And it doesn't really matter
because I can only speculate about you 
and only speak honestly for me...

I'm still mesmerized by the glow - basking in the glory
of un-reciprocated possibilities
and everyone has their own version 
even though it sounds like the same story
- this is just about me

... now I'm stumbling around
like one of the three blind mice,
and maybe I should be undercover
but I can't seem to get out of my own way 
and you could look right through me 
and not have a thing to say
- and it would be alright


© 2014 TrilbyYates 

Friday, August 1, 2014

Inconsequential Meeting


Had a dream about you last night;
seems since we had our inconsequential meeting - 
inconsequential feels so removed 
and so cold 
and my head hurts when I think
and I'm starting to feel too old 
to be a player in the dating game 
... anyway

Confirmation washes over me
like the cold waters of a great sea
confirmation washes over me

When I saw you my childhood sense 
of insecurity was shaken;
sort of rattled my proverbial ego sustained cage,
and now I'm reading the same lines
over and over again
still on the same damn page - 
- expecting a different ending

Confirmation washes over me
like the cold waters of a great sea
confirmation washes over me 

I never know what to think
when thinking is all I have time to do
I never know what to think
when the heart beats one way 
and the other is slightly out of sync 
...just never know how to feel
since my inconsequential meeting with you
And now I don't know what to think
... anyway

I had a dream about you ...


© 2014 TrilbyYates 

Friday, June 7, 2013

I Dream Of You

I dream of you...(softly)
I dream of you...(tearfully)
dream of you...(whisper)
I dream about you...(loudly)
I dream about you...(tearfully)
I scream for you...(scream)
I SCREAM...(anger)
SCREAM to the heavens...(pissed off)
CLENCHED FISTS to the heavens...(without fear)
I SCREAM FOR YOU...(hysterically)
I SCREAM FOR ANSWERS...(pleading)
I scream without reply...(reluctantly)
I cry for you, weep uncontrollably for you...(sorrowfully)
I ache, my heart aches...(painfully)
I curse the heavens...(sparks fly)
I curse the angels, god, day, night...(fuck)
I curse the existence of this life...(fuck)
I fall to my knees and beg for you...(pleading)
I beg without ego or pride...(alone)
I beg for you...(relentlessly)
I linger...(hopefully)
I linger with one foot in the past...(mournfully)
I linger with peace in my heart in the past...(joyfully)
I hang on the edges with one foot in the present...(letting go)
I hang on the edges...one foot in the present...(surrendering)

I dream of you...love(softly)
I dream of you...love(tearfully)
dream of you...love(whisper)

I ask...for you...I reach for you...i reach



© 2013 Trilby


Saturday, May 25, 2013

Second Wind Next Life

Ten second spin off
you still can't
recall my name
and if I blink
you
would fade away
only the scent
of yesterday remains
you don't
hold a candle
to him
my Angel in the night
Blue Moon Belgian style
wheat ale
is a cheap and much welcomed
buzz
words from a stranger
send a chill
like a sharp shooter
your aim
was off
missing your target
without intention
or thought
too much pressure
on where we are
where we have been
self help groups
are the fall guy
for winners in disguise
walking away
with much more than pride
ego can mask
only so much
when life throws
a curve ball
sliding home
is not an option
when that safe haven
slipped away
years ago
I still wonder
what road
I would have traveled
if I hadn't been on the run
grabbing this and that
along the way
carpetbagger by trade
inherent scene of survival
never giving up the ghost
hanging on for dear life
and praying
for a quick release

Darling I'll see you at the cross roads....second wind, next life...

© 2013 Trilby