...just hanging around hat in hand daze, wind blows a chill to the bone with a cup of java just waiting to be sipped ever so slowly...warmth seeps through the palms of my hands.

Black and white, color Kodachrome sugar coated thoughts pop in and out of the 3rd eye of the mind just roll on and on with complete random and transcendental imagery. Example:...tucked away in a dark shadowy corner - a crackling muted long drawn out hissing sound seeps from under not so green wet wood, amber's glowing with an intense hot white fiery burn - golden sparks flying from a fireplace that once held the heart and kept the soul pure until the slate cracked - a turning point and the end of that particular novella. Life shifts and plan B is set in motion.

Bouncing back and forth from one memory to the next, weaving a tapestry of tales spun together with word and song - precious detail and no lack for luster - One late fall evening sitting in a dimly lit French bar in a sweet part of the city, staircase wrapped up into the ceiling getting lost in the night sky, with twinkling starlight and distant clouds...couldn't help but notice how blue your eyes were...leaning in several times, a touch of the hand, head tilted back with laughter pouring from lips as wine is savored, stories told and the slight hesitation confirmed an attraction...you hide under your hat and I take cover between the lines - the written word is a protective cloak and you instinctively keep the beat...one never knows what the future may hold...a surprise party we've all been invited to, like it or not...

(transcendental [ˌtrænsɛnˈdɛntəl]
1. transcendent, superior, or surpassing
2. (Philosophy) (in the philosophy of Kant)
a. (of a judgment or logical deduction) being both synthetic and a priori
b. of or relating to knowledge of the presuppositions of thought
3. (Philosophy) Philosophy beyond our experience of phenomena, although not beyond potential knowledge
4. (Christian Religious Writings / Theology) Theol surpassing the natural plane of reality or knowledge; supernatural or mystical

© 2010 Trilby Yates

December 2010

You would say...the hardest thing to do is a self portrait...keeping ego at bay...capturing the moment, the emotion without pretense, without the "say cheese" factor, candid...the eyes are the windows to the soul, the camera just preserves a moment.

Winter winds blow and your voice like a whisper is carried by a memory of a promise...a photograph speaks volumes ~

© 2010 Trilby Yates

November 2010

French Beret

Street doesn’t seem so harsh, not when the light of day shines bright and if you catch it just at the right moment, just the right angle, it’s perfection in the highest regard…trust me…words pour from the full lips of a man with a traditional French black cashmere beret head slightly tilted to the left side of the curve sizzling smooth accent, “Trust me Mon Chér…”

 A shiver runs from head to toe yet there is a pull to believe and a draw in the rawness of the moment to have faith.  So with a second thought…or two, caution is thrown to the wind and carried off to the far side of the LIS…and in an instant the slow-mo of special effects kicks in like a dream sequence from a black and white flick, hits a high and lyrics from an old favorite that would always bring tears to my eyes is carried by the wind, gently the way I could imagine the hands of God carrying an innocent soul from here to there...or the tender way lovers touch - pressed between layers of a cool breeze…highs and lows - music, words, a sentimental journey, yin and yang, fire and rain…

 “Been walking my mind to an easy time my back turned towards the sun…

Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around…

Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come…

Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground…”

Sentimental Shift 

Sentimental shift 

the air around the sound

sweet melody carries away

gentle hands heart held with an ache

of loss and memory bend…

Notes played with tender intent

to move the soul

emotions rise and the feeling flows

from here to there a reflective tap…

Fingers slide across stings

that sing the heart’s song

words silent with necessity

perfection in an echo bounce…

A Moment Shared

Eyes meet and what is known shared in a moment that lingers in timeless dreams a vision of the future...

© 2010 Trilby Yates

October 2010...Another year

A deep breath, the feel of the wind on my skin, the sound of the sea takes me to a place filled with memories of a time when love was unconditinal...it wasn't about luck...we had earned each other and a lifetime of happiness.   But our time was short and life's cycle continues, the tide rises and falls,  the sun will shine in the east and set in the west... I will miss you for another day, week, month and year...forever and always ~ as endless as our love.

September 2010

MORE THOUGHTS...
Every second, every moment is etched in my mind - green eyes, promises, music, words, tears, touch, kiss, scent, love, fear, terror, loss, such deep everlasting loss...

No looking back, visions are like memories being played over and over without a pause button for some sense of relief...

Cancer he says in a cold but yet humane way. A pro at dropping the bomb like a WWII 18 year old soldier in the cockpit of a B52.

The heart weeps and opens wide the doors to self imposed Penance; just another Blues song with a touch of Lennon ~

La dolce vita and a cup of espresso with the Pope, a ferry ride to any island, walk the beach, feel the sand, the sun pouring light into love...

****

Laughter fades into the night as shadows turn from shades of gray to liquid silver sparking glimmers of light that seep into my heart.

****

There are some things in life we can control...anger, violence, integrity, maybe even our life's passion (although I think that's the nature vs nurture debate)...but love...umm don't think so.
Love comes from a place beyond the human part of us...maybe even a divine part or "heavenly" source.
Ever have that jolt when you meet someone? Face to face or the more modern version "cyberspace"?
And no matter what you tell yourself or how you try to deny what your heart is bleeding for it just continues to hemorrhage with an overwhelming yearning to be accepted, cherished, touched and "loved".
The images keep rolling in your mind like a movie, playing over and over, scene after tender scene.
Love, unconditionally falling from point A to Z in less than a heart beat.
Love, an emotion, a feeling, a blessing and one we have no control over.
We will fall and land on our feet or on our knees - but at the end of the day,
love will be what it is meant to be...because love is absolute.

****

There are a few things that help numb what has already died within...most are illegal...

Pray, plead, promise - beg, cry, scream and swear. Deny or accept. I'm convinced nothing can change the path we were on, NOTHING!

Memories are like little movies we can play over and over - black and white or in color, add music for special effect.

Flowers in my hair, you would smile and kiss me...such an angel you would say while holding my hand as if time were slipping away...

Twin flame - to have experienced unconditional love and acceptance makes life cold and dark when the other flame has been blown out...

From heart to head and back again...heart aches, head is the medicine that keeps the fever down and memories at bay...dream on love...

Guilt, guilt, every minute counts. Denial is a tool - keep the ticking time bomb tick-tock for another day. Oh to have those days back...

Peeking from behind the shadows there is nothing but a hollow echo that bounces back and forth, back and forth...endless echo...bounce

A tiny box, open slowly, a piece of paper folded neatly, placed inside. Unfold, words written. TY I love you and will always be with you JY

Join the fight, tell my story, symbolic wrist band - bold words - FIGHT LUNG CANCER...words from an aching heart sound hollow...

Empty spaces, between each line there is a void, a shadow dances in the night simply waiting for what will follow...

Bulls eye, right on target, nail on the head...you said it, I felt it...heart explodes into tiny pieces.

September spirits gather, slight wind carries a song to you while October waits its turn to mourn - Fall, how appropriate..

Our father who art in heaven, ourfatherwhoartinheavenourfatherwhoartinheaven...questions, pleading...no answer-silence...

Two steps forward several steps back to a time when life was full of love you and me never enough time, now the weekends are too long...

The feel of your hand in mine, a tender kiss, shared smile, eyes meet, a peaceful heart - you are here with me...I wake up confused...tears

Is there ever a time when loss fades to fond memories? When a smile has laughter on the cusp? Soul singing, soul singing...longing words

Scattered thoughts with one line that is steadfast, a common thread...a sense of loss shadows my days...shake free from it he whispers...

A new day...not much has changed...tides up, moved the room around...new view - life

TV, internet, ipod, stereo, help quiet the...lack of...

Early Sunday morning the rain is falling wind blowing the empty space next to me woke me up...sounds of silence

Working on a new book...Widow's Walk...it has been suggested that it will be cathartic! My name is Trilby, I am a widow...

Q. Do you rhyme when you write your poetry? A. No, not something I intentionally avoid, it's just not part of my natural flow.

I'm lost in a world of memories, music and thought - my words, my writing keep me sane...for the most part :)

His song is carried in the wind like a breath from a past filled with love.

Found an electronic card from my husband - it was sent a week before we found out he had lung cancer - lots of tears. Grief continues...




Steps taken the past will follow, the heart lingers in tomorrow -
Stand still it will pass you by, blow kisses to the sky...

Never Look Away

Oh the senses soar
each step creates
an experience,
upon a sunset high,
pink, purple harmonious~
eyes meet,
perfection in a moment~
a shift,
crumbs fall to the floor...
glancing back hear the music play
smile and never look away
smile and never look away

you are always with me love like the images that play dance to and fro wrapped neatly around my life, wrapped neatly around my heart...

© 2010 Trilby Yates

Photo by AKM 2010

August 2010

Dare I...

What is this vibration that has me spinning on my heels…
what is this energy that has tapped into my, dare I say…heart…
who is this person that shares the same line,
sings the same song and shares a passion for music
who is this person that has walked a similar path only at a different time
who is this person that has promised to always be by my side…

© 2010 Trilby Yates

July 2010

...I mourn, I grieve...and now I'm in a free fall...where do I belong...married in my heart...single via circumstance...widow, widow...widow's walk...
the sea calls me early morn, early morn...I walk alone...yet sense the vibration of a distant drummer....where will the wind take me...when will fair winds and blue skies feel like home again?

© 2010 Trilby Yates

Holiday weekend...summer kick off 2010

Sharing The Same Mirror

We share the same mirror, the two of us
me on the left, you on the right,
...a slight blur between us
Two shadows sharing the same mirror
reflections of a past
maybe a promise for a future
who knows what it holds
and who cares when skipping the light fantastic
Time has been good to you
you smile
and I laugh at your vanity and flaunt my own
with a twist of my hair and red lipstick lips
that speak a version of the truth
A bleeding heart that cherishes the moments
few and far between
when love has been more than a band aid for what's been missing
Sharing the same mirror
the two of us
shadows from another time

© 2010 Trilby Yates

Spring and Summer 2010...

Crashing Waves

Walking along the beach
shore line jagged edge worn
comfortable like an old hat
held in a familiar hand
tangles of seaweed drift
without intention…
your voice fades off
shattering sound - crashing waves
once again I remember
you are no longer here…


© 2010 Trilby Yates

Winter Blues 2010

Powers of Love

A bit of nostalgia
floats through the air
a chill from the west side of Long Island
it blows across the Sound
in a whisper
a tiny voice
fingers to lips, hush
steel guitar serenading
is like a gentle touch
to a tattered heart
a mellow reminder
that fairy tales never fade
and time makes room
for the next chapter
of a very long story
of sand and shells
music and memories
your kiss is a soothing testament
to the powers of love…

© 2010 Trilby Yates

Another Valentine's Day...love

A Moment

We were a moment
a flash of light
a shooting star
we were a moment
promises made
smiles shared -

We were a moment,
of passionate kisses
of whispered words
we were a moment
a bright future
a beautiful gift

We were a moment that will last a lifetime...Love

© 2010 Trilby Yates

Trilby's Daze - video and song 1.25.2010

© 2010 Trilby Yates video, song Paris Mygatt

A New Decade 2010

Fog of Loss

The air is cold instant tug on my sleeve
like a tiny reminder that time has passed
and so goes another year
When the heart is distraught
there are only a few things
that cause a moment of pause and clarity
To move into a blur almost as a way to protect
and shield an image from fading
like pages of an old love letter
Yellowing with age its only enemy
But what the mind holds as precious
can only be altered when the heart has taken a step
out of the fog of loss and grief
letting go of what once was the only path worth traveling

© 2010 Trilby Yates