The Ugly Truth My Beauty

Slightest turn of the other cheek
one side acknowledges the other
in the midst of tragedy
And as we parade into a house of worship
wearing our Sunday best,
sirens blare in the distance
A police presence is felt
and it is comforting at times
Different from the tender touch 
of a lovers hand leading the way 
to a safer place of ease,
a safer place to breathe
Yet protection of faith and pride
have become the newest 
of our human natural instinct;
autopilot kicking in as if innate
The strong protect
The weak are humbled
...and the Ugly Truth My Beauty is;
even those wearing a crown
embodiment of a hierarchy,
or those in a position of power
carry a gun protective shield,
can have a poisonous lethal bite
And as we submit to all we hold 
with the highest of regard,
all the traditions passed 
from one generation to the next
do not always stand the test of a truthful time
The flag can fly high fluttering in a summer's breeze,
and placating words may gently fall 
from the lips of bigots and racists in disguise
without questionable intent
The local media will snap the money shot;
front page news and sales begin to rise
But, in the shadows waiting patiently
for the show to come to a close,
a slow ride down a dirt road,
no stars and no stripes,
no sense of humility or praise,
the seeds of hatred will continue to grow...

© 2015 TrilbyYates 

Walking On Shallow Water

Walking on shallow water 
Out in a deep blue sea
Sweeping transparent views
Earth and all its brilliance 
A distant shining light
For the lost and lonely
Draped in silk spun cloth 
Spun the way tales are 
Carefully weaved 
Tight intricate knots 
The High and Mighty 
Swirling poignant scent 
Of blessed incense 
Permeating the air 
Crown of Thorns 
Pressing down
While judgement bleeds
Dripping from generation
To generation with no reprieve 
Rosary beads in hand
Finger tips holding tight
Sensory perception 
Pathway to Heaven
Rosary beads dangle religiously
Sway gently around my neck
Choke back the tears 
Choke back the words
Don't speak of doubt 
Don't ever question
All that I once believed 
Words that I can recite 
With eyes closed
Head bowed down
Drifting off peacefully
A holier than thou sleep
...Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum
Where were you Mary
When I needed you 
A motherless child
Faith in the abstract 
Faith in the disbelief 
That all is not lost 
Or forever forgotten 
Walking on shallow water 
Draped in silk spun cloth 
All in the name 
Of the abstract 
Faith in the disbelief 
That all is not lost 
Or forever forgotten 

As I drift further 
and further out to sea 
repeating over and over
... Ave Marie, gratia plena, Dominus tecum
Ave Marie, gratia plena, Dominus tecum

© 2014 TrilbyYates 

Love In Vain

Out stretched
finger tips 
pleading
in the
darkest night 
somethings seem 
distant 
out of reach
do I ask for 
to much
and the wind 
carries our song
...Shuffle and flip
of the Tarot cards
all possibilities 
are put into mystical 
perspective 
the devil 
plays games 
with no one 
...Soul to soul 
wounded dove 
tiny petals fall 
from high above 
and whispers generate 
magical stirrings 
hope flourishes 
dead sea 
mambo jumbo 
you know I can sail 
with the best of them 
...Now and then 
on bended knee 
searching for 
a familiar face 
eye to eye
recognize
one more time
pure of heart
did I love in vain... 



© 2013 Trilby

Waiting

Darkest of the night 
when spoken
simple words
...my love the light 
lands perfectly
you have 
the face 
of an angel 
saving grace 
and all that we were taught 
in stained glass cathedrals 
ceilings reaching out 
grabbing hold 
of the heavens 
with windows that bleed
holiest of waters
pouring
onto the faithless 
color soothes the soul 
sinners and not 
bead readers 
in silent prayer 
words strung together 
signs of the Cross 
we have yet to bear 
the son, his, or her name
guiding the way 
bring us to our knees 
thankful for what we have
finally found 
and now as walls 
crumble around me 
piece by tiny piece 
my life is quietly
dismantled 
and only those 
that watch 
from high above 
can bring it all 
to an end 
while waiting has never
been a virtue
I ponder and question
I wait and wonder
counting the stars 
waiting for a peaceful 
slumber...that does not come...waiting...

© 2013 Trilby

Baby's Breath

Baby's breath 
tiny petals 
white love 
drips 
down weary 
cheeks 
yellow and
red lights 
glimmer 
in the dark
sterile halls
Hippocratic Oath
prevails
shifting tides 
turn thoughts 
lack of conviction
comes into question 
whispered words 
of God and Mary 
secret prayers said 
in silence
bended knee
head bowed
to the almighty
beads slip through 
fingers to faith 
in good time
answers come 
to those that wait ...

© 2013 Trilby

September 2010

MORE THOUGHTS...
Every second, every moment is etched in my mind - green eyes, promises, music, words, tears, touch, kiss, scent, love, fear, terror, loss, such deep everlasting loss...

No looking back, visions are like memories being played over and over without a pause button for some sense of relief...

Cancer he says in a cold but yet humane way. A pro at dropping the bomb like a WWII 18 year old soldier in the cockpit of a B52.

The heart weeps and opens wide the doors to self imposed Penance; just another Blues song with a touch of Lennon ~

La dolce vita and a cup of espresso with the Pope, a ferry ride to any island, walk the beach, feel the sand, the sun pouring light into love...

****

Laughter fades into the night as shadows turn from shades of gray to liquid silver sparking glimmers of light that seep into my heart.

****

There are some things in life we can control...anger, violence, integrity, maybe even our life's passion (although I think that's the nature vs nurture debate)...but love...umm don't think so.
Love comes from a place beyond the human part of us...maybe even a divine part or "heavenly" source.
Ever have that jolt when you meet someone? Face to face or the more modern version "cyberspace"?
And no matter what you tell yourself or how you try to deny what your heart is bleeding for it just continues to hemorrhage with an overwhelming yearning to be accepted, cherished, touched and "loved".
The images keep rolling in your mind like a movie, playing over and over, scene after tender scene.
Love, unconditionally falling from point A to Z in less than a heart beat.
Love, an emotion, a feeling, a blessing and one we have no control over.
We will fall and land on our feet or on our knees - but at the end of the day,
love will be what it is meant to be...because love is absolute.

****

There are a few things that help numb what has already died within...most are illegal...

Pray, plead, promise - beg, cry, scream and swear. Deny or accept. I'm convinced nothing can change the path we were on, NOTHING!

Memories are like little movies we can play over and over - black and white or in color, add music for special effect.

Flowers in my hair, you would smile and kiss me...such an angel you would say while holding my hand as if time were slipping away...

Twin flame - to have experienced unconditional love and acceptance makes life cold and dark when the other flame has been blown out...

From heart to head and back again...heart aches, head is the medicine that keeps the fever down and memories at bay...dream on love...

Guilt, guilt, every minute counts. Denial is a tool - keep the ticking time bomb tick-tock for another day. Oh to have those days back...

Peeking from behind the shadows there is nothing but a hollow echo that bounces back and forth, back and forth...endless echo...bounce

A tiny box, open slowly, a piece of paper folded neatly, placed inside. Unfold, words written. TY I love you and will always be with you JY

Join the fight, tell my story, symbolic wrist band - bold words - FIGHT LUNG CANCER...words from an aching heart sound hollow...

Empty spaces, between each line there is a void, a shadow dances in the night simply waiting for what will follow...

Bulls eye, right on target, nail on the head...you said it, I felt it...heart explodes into tiny pieces.

September spirits gather, slight wind carries a song to you while October waits its turn to mourn - Fall, how appropriate..

Our father who art in heaven, ourfatherwhoartinheavenourfatherwhoartinheaven...questions, pleading...no answer-silence...

Two steps forward several steps back to a time when life was full of love you and me never enough time, now the weekends are too long...

The feel of your hand in mine, a tender kiss, shared smile, eyes meet, a peaceful heart - you are here with me...I wake up confused...tears

Is there ever a time when loss fades to fond memories? When a smile has laughter on the cusp? Soul singing, soul singing...longing words

Scattered thoughts with one line that is steadfast, a common thread...a sense of loss shadows my days...shake free from it he whispers...

A new day...not much has changed...tides up, moved the room around...new view - life

TV, internet, ipod, stereo, help quiet the...lack of...

Early Sunday morning the rain is falling wind blowing the empty space next to me woke me up...sounds of silence

Working on a new book...Widow's Walk...it has been suggested that it will be cathartic! My name is Trilby, I am a widow...

Q. Do you rhyme when you write your poetry? A. No, not something I intentionally avoid, it's just not part of my natural flow.

I'm lost in a world of memories, music and thought - my words, my writing keep me sane...for the most part :)

His song is carried in the wind like a breath from a past filled with love.

Found an electronic card from my husband - it was sent a week before we found out he had lung cancer - lots of tears. Grief continues...




Steps taken the past will follow, the heart lingers in tomorrow -
Stand still it will pass you by, blow kisses to the sky...

Never Look Away

Oh the senses soar
each step creates
an experience,
upon a sunset high,
pink, purple harmonious~
eyes meet,
perfection in a moment~
a shift,
crumbs fall to the floor...
glancing back hear the music play
smile and never look away
smile and never look away

you are always with me love like the images that play dance to and fro wrapped neatly around my life, wrapped neatly around my heart...

© 2010 Trilby Yates

Photo by AKM 2010