Same Old Same Old

Stumbling down the road 
I don't waste time looking back 
But the past is like a dog 
with an unforgettable bone 
...just wont give it up 
or let it go 
And not that any 
of it matters 
They say I am 
where I'm supposed to be;
according to the universe, 
biorhythms and time charts, 
even the tide flow 
So if all of that is true;
set in some kind of 
cosmic stone 
here on borrowed time
here on loan
Why do my shoes 
feel too tight 
and my close don't 
fit quite right 
and I'm uncomfortable 
in my own skin 
Why can't I sit back, relax 
and just breathe it all in 
Is this the way 
the story goes 
Some unsettled 
some untold 
But I always have a sense 
I have a lot more to say 
and nothing ever feels the same 
in a same old kind of way
Nothing ever feels the same
in a same old kind of way 

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Beyond The Fog

Early morning light peers through tiny cracks like a private eye - subtle surveillance
Between nightmares and day-dreams there is a harsh sense that shoots across the sky
As reality focuses on the blurred vision of weary eyes and the only time line has spanned the universe
A love that lives in another sphere…what is there after you?
The question lay still and the answers are silent…

For certain, one day follows the next,
      the sun will rise and the sun will set…
      the tide is high and the tide is low…
      the night comes  and the morning goes…

I wake up knowing that there is something more and yet there is no clarity beyond the fog of my own imagination… 

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Let It Go

Saw myself 
running 
in my dreams 
Heard the crash 
of the rising tide 
Like a child's lullaby 
I let its soothing sound 
rush up 
and rush over me
And in the loneliest 
moments
I knew  
there really wasn't 
much left to do 
...but let it go, 
let it go 
Looking up 
into the deepest 
blue sky 
never found a reason
or wondered why
But in the loneliest 
moments
time stood still
and I was mesmerized 
by the deepest blue 
in the clarity 
of your eyes 
- And there we were
just you and me 
standing hand in hand 
rising tide rushing up 
and rushing over 
you and me 
Hand in hand rising tide 
and I knew 
there really wasn't 
much left to do 
but let it go, let it go
...I let it go

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Soothing Vibration

Early morning sun 
begins to wake up
Arm reaching yawn
splintered beams of light 
stretch across 
the horizon 
While a lazy lapping 
of the tide 
comes and goes 
repeating a pattern 
in perfect sync 
with the pull 
of the moon,
as it faithfully 
orbits the earth 
Off in the distance 
a curved line 
remains a constant
just outside of the rim
old and faithful
field of vision;
a focal point for reference  
some things remain eternal
- Sand and sea 
echo one another 
with peaceful chatter 
Soothing vibration
to an often bruised 
and battered mind 
in search of a safe haven,
if only for short 
periods of time 
Refreshing the core 
senses and humanity,
as the day to day 
chip away at even those 
more saintly in spirit;
wresting with their
own moral compass
The tempest shifts
across the shore 
Dancing fools shutter
pulling their collars up
A protective shield
from the perfection
of a storm brewing 
off in the distant future
Weather-vane continues 
to point due north
regardless of which
way the tides turn
or the winds blow...
- Sand and sea 
echo one another 
with peaceful chatter 
Soothing vibration
to an often bruised 
and battered mind 
in search of a safe haven
if only for short 
periods of time... 

© 2015 TrilbyYates



 

I Cry For You

Walking out knee deep
Fluid reflections glimmer
Walking out shifting sandbar 
Low tide is a slow rise 
The moon sits stoically
On a fine line drawn 
Across the horizon 
And I can only imagine 
What is beyond the curve 
Of this narcissistic planet - Earth 
Or the destination of shooting stars
First hand knowledge burn out
Slips beneath my own personal radar
The way love vanishes mysteriously
Into the stillness of a dark night
Or shutters as the light of day
Seeps into creases of awareness
Sudden winds blow like a cold slap
Chilling the hearts of lonely lovers
A harsh realization...bitter sweet
The dance leaves me senseless
Leaves me empty 
...I cry for you
East coast rainy Saturday 
Music playing in the background 
Lyrics that hit home 
Lyrics I should have written 
Back when life wasn't so convoluted
Flipping from page to page 
Familiar visions old photos 
Memories open the flood gates 
To those no longer here 
Outside of this sphere 
Loved ones that touched my heart...changed my life 
Loved ones and friends interchangeable affections 
East coast rainy Saturday
Leaves me empty 
...I cry for you

© 2014 TrilbyYates

Looking Out To Sea

It was something 
something out of a movie scene
From Here To Eternity 
we were laying in the sand 
tide came up rushing over us 
all entangled arms and legs 
finger tips tracing 
a pathway to the soul 
your mouth on mine 
whispering words 
...you are so beautiful 
so beautiful...
kissing my neck 
gentle hands 
holding me close 
eyes closed
sensations like a hot wire 
and I heard a voice say 
I love you 
I love you...
and realized it was mine 
in that moment time stopped 
the tide went out 
and didn't come back in 
and we were standing 
looking at each other 
you had such a puzzled look 
on your face 
a puzzled look 
and I apologized 
I'm sorry 
I'm sorry 
I didn't mean to say that 
I don't love you 
I like you 
I care about you 
but I don't love you...like that 
you just stood there 
with a puzzled look 
on your face 
and I knew 
it was not you I saw 
it was him 
and I'm sorry for that 
it wasn't you I was looking at 
it was him 
and the tide went out 
and didn't come back in 
and I was standing there alone 
looking out to sea
looking out to sea

© 2014 TrilbyYates  

Magic 8 Ball

Love is a blank 
sheet of paper,
a black hole;
shooting stars 
veer off 
into the darkness 
when there is 
- nothing...
Love is a genie 
in a bottle
with no way 
to escape,
at the mercy
of its master
...It is the closest thing 
to the magnificent 
Magic 8 Ball,
revealing all 
without being smashed
into tiny pieces;
black ink and words
meaningless puddle
spill across the floor 
Love is complex
in its simplicity
...the waxing and waning 
of the moon,
the shift 
from left to right,
or sway 
from side to side
Love rides the tide,
it skips a beat
and loses nothing
when it moves on;
has no advice
or words of solace
as it slips away
without the slightest
sense of abandon
Only a joy 
to have known you ~

© 2014 TrilbyYates 

Geographically Undesirable

The rain is falling
wind is singing songs
beyond the dunes
Dark clouds form overhead 
and the waves have 
kicked up a notch;
perfect back drop 
for a romantic at heart
pinned with dedication 
to my worn out sleeve
I walk barefoot in the tide
emotion and passion
rush in pulling at my vulnerabilities 
But don't get me wrong 
I'm not complaining,
or ready to bag the ideology 
Naivete pure and innocent 
somewhere out there 
beyond the horizon, 
beyond the geographically 
...undesirable tag -
Burning sage 
and lighting candles
dancing under a full moon
Whispers vibrate hidden stories;
secrets shared but never told
And I continue blind faith
and wounded glory
not for the weary or fainthearted,
that somewhere out there
value isn't measured in miles
and sparks will fly outside the radius
imaginary lines drawn in the sand
Somewhere out there 
beyond the horizon, 
beyond the geographically 
...undesirable tag -


© 2014 TrilbyYates 

Love Chanting

Summer sun 
short circuit 
cuts directly 
from my brain 
to my heart
eyes close
and I can see
...a clear path  - to you

Each ray 
that shoots 
across the bow 
of this 
magnificent vessel 
mind and spirit
carrying with it 
a message
...of love - to you

Chanting with the tide 
full moon is on the rise

Goddess of Love
Goddess of Light

                                                               photo by TYates


© 2014 TrilbyYates 

September 2010

MORE THOUGHTS...
Every second, every moment is etched in my mind - green eyes, promises, music, words, tears, touch, kiss, scent, love, fear, terror, loss, such deep everlasting loss...

No looking back, visions are like memories being played over and over without a pause button for some sense of relief...

Cancer he says in a cold but yet humane way. A pro at dropping the bomb like a WWII 18 year old soldier in the cockpit of a B52.

The heart weeps and opens wide the doors to self imposed Penance; just another Blues song with a touch of Lennon ~

La dolce vita and a cup of espresso with the Pope, a ferry ride to any island, walk the beach, feel the sand, the sun pouring light into love...

****

Laughter fades into the night as shadows turn from shades of gray to liquid silver sparking glimmers of light that seep into my heart.

****

There are some things in life we can control...anger, violence, integrity, maybe even our life's passion (although I think that's the nature vs nurture debate)...but love...umm don't think so.
Love comes from a place beyond the human part of us...maybe even a divine part or "heavenly" source.
Ever have that jolt when you meet someone? Face to face or the more modern version "cyberspace"?
And no matter what you tell yourself or how you try to deny what your heart is bleeding for it just continues to hemorrhage with an overwhelming yearning to be accepted, cherished, touched and "loved".
The images keep rolling in your mind like a movie, playing over and over, scene after tender scene.
Love, unconditionally falling from point A to Z in less than a heart beat.
Love, an emotion, a feeling, a blessing and one we have no control over.
We will fall and land on our feet or on our knees - but at the end of the day,
love will be what it is meant to be...because love is absolute.

****

There are a few things that help numb what has already died within...most are illegal...

Pray, plead, promise - beg, cry, scream and swear. Deny or accept. I'm convinced nothing can change the path we were on, NOTHING!

Memories are like little movies we can play over and over - black and white or in color, add music for special effect.

Flowers in my hair, you would smile and kiss me...such an angel you would say while holding my hand as if time were slipping away...

Twin flame - to have experienced unconditional love and acceptance makes life cold and dark when the other flame has been blown out...

From heart to head and back again...heart aches, head is the medicine that keeps the fever down and memories at bay...dream on love...

Guilt, guilt, every minute counts. Denial is a tool - keep the ticking time bomb tick-tock for another day. Oh to have those days back...

Peeking from behind the shadows there is nothing but a hollow echo that bounces back and forth, back and forth...endless echo...bounce

A tiny box, open slowly, a piece of paper folded neatly, placed inside. Unfold, words written. TY I love you and will always be with you JY

Join the fight, tell my story, symbolic wrist band - bold words - FIGHT LUNG CANCER...words from an aching heart sound hollow...

Empty spaces, between each line there is a void, a shadow dances in the night simply waiting for what will follow...

Bulls eye, right on target, nail on the head...you said it, I felt it...heart explodes into tiny pieces.

September spirits gather, slight wind carries a song to you while October waits its turn to mourn - Fall, how appropriate..

Our father who art in heaven, ourfatherwhoartinheavenourfatherwhoartinheaven...questions, pleading...no answer-silence...

Two steps forward several steps back to a time when life was full of love you and me never enough time, now the weekends are too long...

The feel of your hand in mine, a tender kiss, shared smile, eyes meet, a peaceful heart - you are here with me...I wake up confused...tears

Is there ever a time when loss fades to fond memories? When a smile has laughter on the cusp? Soul singing, soul singing...longing words

Scattered thoughts with one line that is steadfast, a common thread...a sense of loss shadows my days...shake free from it he whispers...

A new day...not much has changed...tides up, moved the room around...new view - life

TV, internet, ipod, stereo, help quiet the...lack of...

Early Sunday morning the rain is falling wind blowing the empty space next to me woke me up...sounds of silence

Working on a new book...Widow's Walk...it has been suggested that it will be cathartic! My name is Trilby, I am a widow...

Q. Do you rhyme when you write your poetry? A. No, not something I intentionally avoid, it's just not part of my natural flow.

I'm lost in a world of memories, music and thought - my words, my writing keep me sane...for the most part :)

His song is carried in the wind like a breath from a past filled with love.

Found an electronic card from my husband - it was sent a week before we found out he had lung cancer - lots of tears. Grief continues...




Steps taken the past will follow, the heart lingers in tomorrow -
Stand still it will pass you by, blow kisses to the sky...

Never Look Away

Oh the senses soar
each step creates
an experience,
upon a sunset high,
pink, purple harmonious~
eyes meet,
perfection in a moment~
a shift,
crumbs fall to the floor...
glancing back hear the music play
smile and never look away
smile and never look away

you are always with me love like the images that play dance to and fro wrapped neatly around my life, wrapped neatly around my heart...

© 2010 Trilby Yates

Photo by AKM 2010