My Lovers Gone

There is a story, 
it is my own 
It fills all the spaces and lines 
that lead in and around 
the deepest and most shallow 
- like a wading pool, or sandbar - water up to my knees 
floating sensation into the abyss of joyfulness 
- all part of my mind 
Energy free form soaring, bounding rhetoric 
leaving an indiscriminate mark of solace 
etched in a monogram of initials 
- for all of those I have loved 
Freeing words trickle out ever so slowly,
with no sense of urgency
but, as a delicate pearl of wisdom 
flowing freedom with the knowing 
of an ocean bed, comfort in its path 
More than okay with its journey - and its destination 
Carving a path that will change with each season,
with each tide pulled by the moon light, beckoning
like my lovers gone and I will continue on and on...

- floating sensation into the abyss of joyfulness...
like my lovers gone, and I will continue on and on

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Recognition

A few side steps 
off the curve you fall
and for a while 
there is a time and place
to bat your eyes 
and lick your lips
as if the package 
is all that matters 
in those moments when
the label tastes better 
than the wine
and the left hand 
on your Rolex
gets stuck 
between AM and PM
in a hesitating movement
that never gets beyond 
the here and now
...remember where you came from
not just where you’re headed
because at the end 
of the day
all that matters 
is what you hold
dear to your heart
even if it is gently worn
on the sleeve 
of your designer suit
with an occasional 
nod of recognition
to what once was… 

© 2015 TrilbyYates 

Wise Ass Kid

Those days 
When thoughts 
Swirled around 
In my mind 
Creating an energy 
Cause and effect 
Suddenly out of thin air 
A call or note 
Song from the past
A nudge from
Turbulent times
A cosmic force connects 
A reminder tap tap
You can never go back
Although I lean on the belief
Nothing is set in stone
Except birth and death
Those sweet innocent days
Are few and far between
So be careful who you 
Day dream about 
Strangers appear 
In familiar garb
Time passes snap
and mindful images 
Never seem to fade 
Wishful thinking 
Is an independent luxury 
Like a journey to an exotic
Far away unknown land 
Scrolling through photographs 
and tag lines eyes blur to focus
Wondering playfully - pause
What's going to happen next 
The wheels turn slower 
and the clock ticks louder 
Adjusting the bar downward
Dragging realistic wants and needs
Lacking subtle expectations 
To an abrupt unexpected halt 
Gears jam and all I can do 
Is scream profanities into a void
Pathetic reminiscent childlike questions
and obscene childlike gestures
Blurted out with no rational
Like a wise ass kid hanging 
On any city street corner
In any city in the world
Unique - not unto its own
Self absorbed truth seeker
Asking why always why
As if expecting some profound
Heavenly answer to fall peacefully
Settling at my feet
Like a feather from the nest
Pride is a virtue
Ego is a vice  
I continuously stumble around
Exhausted from the battle
My internal war rages on ...


© 2014 TrilbyYates

When Wont It Matter

I can be an after thought
a chain reaction glimmer in your eye
hitting the nail on the head...clairvoyant imposter
it doesn't truly matter all that much - to me
What is thought or spoken - love has no boundaries
the exception, not being reciprocated - virtuous whore
Especially when the world around us
is a blaze - flames kissing the heavens
and the middle ground is a jagged edge - diversionary tact
When will you look at me
tears in your eyes - heart pounding
the same way I look at you?
When wont it matter
that my story isn't in-sync - with yours?
I know I carry a different tune
When will you feel the same way
about me - the same way I feel about you?
When wont it matter?
I've traveled my own path - lost at times
but when I came to a fork in the road
I never turned back - choices made
via an unorthodox flip of a coin
or mere chance, the direction of the wind
kiss and blow - roll the dice
heads I win tails you lose - continue on my love
The alternative has its own draw - appearances can be deceiving 
just wasn't part of the grand design - my journey
With music pushing me forward, a lyric on the tip of my tongue
my head full of words and soulful thought
always leading me on my merry way
When will you look at me
tears in your eyes - heart pounding
the same way I look at you?
When wont it matter
that my story isn't in-sync - with yours?
I know I carry a different tune
When will you feel the same way
about me - the same way I feel about you?
When wont it matter? 

© 2014 TrilbyYates   

Thread Of Intent

Gliding
through life 
holding onto 
what ever seemed 
to fit at the time;
- any given circumstance
But, truth be told,
truth to behold,
it never genuinely did 
Now, as I glance back
awareness is 
an acquired virtue,
an eye opener,
a solid transforming kick,
a heart stopping pause,
without hesitation,
deep breath - no room to exhale - moment
Off in the distance 
reflective brilliance glares,
reveals all the misfit 
sequence of events;
off the shoulder tie dyed 
one of a kind indiscretions...
And I have no one,
to share the blame
or the splendor
I walk my path alone;
a solo journey - er,
subconscious choice - I suppose
Worthy of mention 
in a high brow setting...
Dialogue superficial,
gender bias,
misogynistic over the top 
detachment of thought
Yet, time nor distance
can deter what has been
weaved together
united via a word,
a strangers glance,
an occasion shared,
 - deemed extraordinary

We are all connected,
a single thread of intent...


© 2014 TrilbyYates 

Fear

Child of the night 
sweet innocent 
of delight
with your heart 
worn out 
and faded 
chambray shirt 
torn at the sleeve 
you can't 
bring yourself 
to question the blur 
that follows you around 
shadowing 
every secret kept 
when the time comes 
you glide with ease
across the floor 
feet not touching 
the ground 
slight trace 
of ambivalence 
as the hook of life 
hands from the past 
misguide you 
gently through
a free fall 
silver parachute  
never fails
stray buttons 
held tight
for safe keeping
and you smile 
nothing lost
nothing gained
while the fat lady sings 
all those tunes 
out of sync
time lapse
flip book
skipping a note 
here and there 
what matters
if you can't follow 
the beat
your path 
or mine 
take it to the left 
when all else implodes
sky rockets shatter
star light beams
to points unknown
the devil flies 
in the face 
of who's who 
and truth behold
a suitable playmate 
soothsayers 
can't hold a candle 
in the wind 
without a cautionary tale 
and I fear for the worst...

Fear ~

1 - the emotion experienced in the presence or threat of danger fear

>

Synonyms alarm (also alarum), anxiety, dread, fearfulness, fright, horror, panic, scare, terror, trepidation

Related Words phobia; creeps, jitters, nervousness, willies; pang, qualm, twinge; agitation, apprehension, consternation, discomposure, disquiet, funk, perturbation; concern, dismay, worry; cowardice, faintheartedness, timidity, timorousness

Near Antonyms aplomb, assurance, boldness, confidence, self-assurance, self-confidence; bravery, courage, courageousness, daring, dauntlessness, doughtiness, fearlessness, fortitude, gallantry, hardihood, intrepidity, intrepidness, stoutness, valor; audacity, guts, nerve

2 - an uneasy state of mind usually over the possibility of an anticipated misfortune or trouble <fear for her family's safety drove her to seek help from neighbors she hardly knew>

Synonyms agita, agitation, anxiousness, apprehension, apprehensiveness, care, concern, concernment, disquiet, disquietude, fear, nervosity, nervousness, perturbation, solicitude, sweat, unease, uneasiness, worry

Related Words strain, stress, tension; alarm (also alarum), anguish, consternation, desperateness, desperation, discomfort, discomposure, dismay, distraction, distress, disturbance, edginess, franticness, hand-wringing, jitters, jumpiness, panic, tremor; angst, fearfulness, torment, upset, vexation; cold feet, doubt, dread, foreboding, incertitude, misgiving, presentiment, suspense, uncertainty; compunction, qualm, scruple

Near Antonyms calm, calmness, content, contentment, ease, easiness, peace, peacefulness, placidity, placidness, quiet, quietude, sereneness, serenity, tranquillity (or tranquility), tranquilness; comfort, consolation, relief, solace

Antonyms unconcern

© 2013 Trilby

Leaving Winter Behind...

The Highline NYC 2011

Old Neighborhood

Looking back,
Taking the first step forward,
Inhaling the old neighborhood
Deep breath...sigh...
Visual memories are like photographs
Some make me laugh,
Some move me to tears
While others tug at the heart strings
Slight smile turn the corners of my mouth…
Thought about you and
The way you would lie,
For a free smoke or a dime
Paper tigers and fireflies…
Led us down a potpourri of alleyways,
To the innocence of youths
Beautiful indiscretions
Turquoise eyes glowing in neon nights,
Making love in the back seat
Of abandon cars,
West Side Highway,
Or floating down Riverside…
I noticed you out of the corner of my left eye,
Still riding life on the flip side…
Reading postcards from another time

Looking back ~

Patty G lived in Apt. 2 B…
Anthony on the 9th floor,
Fire escape was a long way down…
Endless after midnight~
We shared the loss of our virginity,
And who’s who doing the 10th Ave shuffle…
Never quite making the grade,
But always a good time along the way~
Mrs. Vignetto chattered in Italian
As Mrs. Eisenberg would politely nod
Common bond Mothers united
As their son’s marched off to war
Your side, my side not much in between
Life in the 60's
Bitter sweet and indifferent -

© 2011 Trilby Yates

Memento...

Sounds
scents
float
swirl
twirl
dance
to-and-fro
twisting
upward spiral
dreams
memories
tied together
neatly
a gift
from above
simple reminder
what was
could have been
life's consequences
fate
stepped in
directing
the path
intersecting
the journey
intent
fate
luck
ascending to Heaven
you held onto
my heart
soul
a memento
saving my place
waiting
for
the day
when
I finally
find
my way
home
to
you...

© 2008 Pamela Yates

words and photo by Trilby Yates
puppets: Jerry Mahoney & Lady Trilby

Poems for Jerry ~ with love Trilby

Warm Breeze

I thought I heard your voice
echo from the empty place
that fills every corner of my heart and
images emerge without warning
as something automatically
goes off like an alarm and
you appear as clear as day and
I reach to touch your hand
only to feel a slight warm breeze
passing between my fingers…

Innate Progression

There is so little of me left
most things go unattended
while it’s not intentional
it is all that there is available
everything else is being spent
making sure one breath
continues to follow the next
while the heart persists with an off beat
an innate progression of being human
without any magical options
choices are limited to self preservation
one way or another
like it or not…
the sun will rise in the East
set in the West…
the tide will shift from high to low
when the moon is full
there will be a rush of wind from the North
that will blow my proverbial blues
to the South shore’s of Heaven On Earth…

Memories

It’s not any particular moment or day,
special occasion that can trigger a memory,
and that’s what they are now, memories…
images so clear, they are touchable to the minds eye
and with each notion comes a wave of tears that emerge
hand in hand
a perfect fit
with an uncanny resemblance to you and me
when imprints were made
and carefully set aside
for future reference
along with peaceful reverie…

Unknown

So they tell me to reach out and touch reality
grab hold and embrace it with all its glory
doom and gloom can only drag you down
long dark cavity and only one way out
an unnatural exit that has generational consequences…
thoughts never cross that bridge or burn it either,
but when my senses are raw and there are no signs
from the Grand Creator or any cohorts
the distance from here to there
seems long and weary for a traveler
that has lost all sense of time and direction…
not the journey,
the destination…
not right,
left…
stop on red,
go on green…cautionary yellow…
an abundance of recommendations
and all roads continually lead to…
the unknown ~

Mourning Dove

Mourning Dove’s coo
bitter sweet like an aimless breeze
reminiscent of a sad love song
vibrating throughout until it is no more
recognizing all that we can lose at the slightest shift
from left to right
never sensing the ground
as it slips beneath our feet
even as we try to hang on
white knuckling it with each breath
everything in between
each heart’s beat
is a pulse directed to the soul
keeping what we once knew
at arms length
but always there
as a reminder
of how fragile
we truly are…

Heaven’s Gate

Time change and lack of sleep has been
interrupted once more with the morning light
showing up later then my dreams
and with each ray comes a photographic memory
of smiling eyes with a glint of mystery
staring back at me
as if the tears that fall
could be touched by an invisible hand
that once held mine in the night
when it didn’t matter what the next day would bring
we had the world before us
ready to reveal all the bright promises of the forever young
only to be cut short by an invisible demon
that we dare not label
because reality falls midstream
when the pain hits below the belt
and nothing can bring relief
other then my day
kneeling before the Gates of Heaven…

© 2008 Pamela Viscomi Yates