Showing posts with label lover. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lover. Show all posts

Saturday, February 27, 2016

One Word

Just one word, one word - sharp and cutting.
Gut reaction.
Automatic visceral response.
Anger, fear, shame, confusion, bewilderment.
One word, domino effect, emotional draining flash back
...punch in the stomach, what the fuck not quite an epiphany
slow realization, an unwinding.
Slow with meaning.
A learning; knowledge filled shaping, the future bend.
Young girl unknown meaning, one word
A pattern - "…you wait outside…"
Sunny Saturday, waiting outside.
"…you can't come in, but we can play together, my father says you're a wop..."
"My father says you're like a nigger, like a monkey, we don't let animals in our house; except the cat and dog, but we can play together…"
Fifteen years later, I helped her elope.
She climbed out of her bedroom window, 
I waited down the street in my VW Bus.
We drove to the town hall and she married a man of color.

Just one word, one more word - sharp and cutting.
Gut reaction.
Automatic visceral response.
Anger, fear, shame, confusion, bewilderment.
One word, domino effect, emotional draining flash back
...punch in the stomach, what the fuck not quite an epiphany
slow realization, an unwinding.
Slow with meaning.
A learning; a knowledge filled shaping, a future bend.
Young girl unknown meaning, one word,
"…I like you, but my brother said I can't because you're a dago…"
A pattern - "…we can still like each other but no one can know…"
We walked past each other in the halls, middle school, high school.
Our eyes would meet, we would smile, but we both knew what we didn't know.
Ten years later, you became my lover.
We spent the summer together, we didn't talk about the past but it was there.
We both understood, we knew and we cried together.
I said goodbye to you in September,
and watched your motorcycle fade off into the sunset.

Just one word, one word - sharp and cutting.
Gut reaction.
Automatic visceral response.
Anger, fear, shame, confusion, bewilderment.
One word, domino effect, emotional draining flash back
...punch in the stomach, what the fuck not quite an epiphany
slow realization, an unwinding.
Slow with meaning.
A learning; knowledge filled shaping, the future bend.
Young girl unknown meaning, one word.
It only takes one word…

© 2016 TrilbyYates











Friday, December 11, 2015

My Lovers Gone

There is a story, 
it is my own 
It fills all the spaces and lines 
that lead in and around 
the deepest and most shallow 
- like a wading pool, or sandbar - water up to my knees 
floating sensation into the abyss of joyfulness 
- all part of my mind 
Energy free form soaring, bounding rhetoric 
leaving an indiscriminate mark of solace 
etched in a monogram of initials 
- for all of those I have loved 
Freeing words trickle out ever so slowly,
with no sense of urgency
but, as a delicate pearl of wisdom 
flowing freedom with the knowing 
of an ocean bed, comfort in its path 
More than okay with its journey - and its destination 
Carving a path that will change with each season,
with each tide pulled by the moon light, beckoning
like my lovers gone and I will continue on and on...

- floating sensation into the abyss of joyfulness...
like my lovers gone, and I will continue on and on

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Friday, January 23, 2015

Dream On Dream On

Dream on 
Dream on and on
He says 
Only 27 questions 
To answer
And then you
Will know
....how to fall in love
Sitting in a cozy bar 
Some place in Brooklyn 
The candle light softens 
The harsher lines 
That have grown
Across the brow
And marionette lines 
That make a smile 
More of an conscious effort 
Than the natural way 
Your lips once parted
Corners turned up
Cherub's bow kissable
As the years dance on 
Dance on and on
The answers reveal 
More than his 
Heart's intentions
And yours races 
Out of insecurity 
Not for lack of lust
Or passion
But more out of 
A sense of caution
...these days 
To set the fire slowly
Rather than burn in a blaze 
Of no regrets and short felt glory
Dream on
Dream on and on 
He says 
Only 26 questions 
Left to answer
And then you
Will know
....how to fall in love 

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

I Am Still Here

Your eyes close 
peaceful rest 
holding your hand 
a gentle squeeze 
...I'm still here 
Sunlight slips 
between the cracks 
in drawn shades 
Patterns of lace 
dance on pale 
linen colored walls 
Shallow breath 
I lay my head 
on your chest 
for confirmation 
you whisper 
...I'm still here 
We fall together 
a dream state 
a reverie 
and sacred space 
Fields of lavender 
and wild flowers 
The wind weaves
and sways
between long 
blades of grass 
Like a child 
fear and foe 
dissipate
and laughter 
permeates the air 
I turn to you 
your eyes 
meet mine 
...I'm still here
Warmth and energy
smiles forever wide
And off in the distance 
your shadow begins
to glisten
and in the quiet
the calm silence
leaning forward 
I strain to listen
and as your voice 
begins to fade
I can hear you say
I am still here, I am still here... 

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Small Boy Tender

Small boy tender child 
Wide brown eyes 
With an angelic smile… 
That could melt butter
 - in his mouth
While dripping sweet 
Saccharine like words 
Of lies and deceit 
One push 
Slight of hand 
Reaches out 
To be held 
 - poor little sister
Cracked skull
Echoed cries 
and life 
...swing in the balance
Baby dolls
 - toy guns 
Put away 
For safe keeping
Time capsule 
Records sealed 
To protect 
“innocence”
Carefully wrapped
In newsprint 
from 1965
Is no longer 
A figment 
Of Freud’s imagination
While sharing 
The mid night oil 
With the likes 
of Jean Piaget
A child’s dream
…small boy tender child 
Wide brown eyes 
With an angelic smile… 
Our love fans 
the flame
Desire fuels 
the fire 
We have a slow 
Dance of our own
Following the rhythm 
Of a distant 
...drummer
And I’m tearful 
When old photos 
seem to fade
Yet your words 
Move through me 
Like the hum 
Of a warm guitar
With the harp blower 
 - vibrating
There is not a breath 
taken...between us
As he holds onto 
That infamous note 
Like a one hit wonder
A precious soul
Small boy tender child 
Wide brown eyes 
With an angelic smile… 
Careful not to 
rush the beat
Reminiscent 
of a frantic lover
Maintaining 
the perfection 
- of our love song
Small boy tender child 
Wide brown eyes 
With an angelic smile… 
That could melt butter
 - in his mouth
While dripping sweet 
Saccharine like words 
Of lies and deceit ~ 


© 2014 TrilbyYates 

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Looking Out To Sea

It was something 
something out of a movie scene
From Here To Eternity 
we were laying in the sand 
tide came up rushing over us 
all entangled arms and legs 
finger tips tracing 
a pathway to the soul 
your mouth on mine 
whispering words 
...you are so beautiful 
so beautiful...
kissing my neck 
gentle hands 
holding me close 
eyes closed
sensations like a hot wire 
and I heard a voice say 
I love you 
I love you...
and realized it was mine 
in that moment time stopped 
the tide went out 
and didn't come back in 
and we were standing 
looking at each other 
you had such a puzzled look 
on your face 
a puzzled look 
and I apologized 
I'm sorry 
I'm sorry 
I didn't mean to say that 
I don't love you 
I like you 
I care about you 
but I don't love you...like that 
you just stood there 
with a puzzled look 
on your face 
and I knew 
it was not you I saw 
it was him 
and I'm sorry for that 
it wasn't you I was looking at 
it was him 
and the tide went out 
and didn't come back in 
and I was standing there alone 
looking out to sea
looking out to sea

© 2014 TrilbyYates  

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

White Night Black Stallion

I can see it 
in your eyes 
replaying
like your favorite flick;
...over and over again - 
And all I can hear
is the banging 
of the drum...
and you, you remind me
with a repetitive triple stroke drum roll;
telling me your secrets 
in my sleep
whispered secrets 
in my sleep -
Slipping into my dreams 
warm hands
Egyptian cotton sheets 
cool to the touch... 
White Night, Black Stallion 
braided mane  -
One last mistake is all I ever wanted
One last mistake...
It's like that first time high
you know, like before falling off the cliff
to high up the air is so thin 
can't take a breath - 
it hurts to breathe in,
it's the down side of up,
end zone no one knows;
and no one cares
but you and me
Whispered secrets in my sleep
...don't let go, don't ever let go
but off you went into the wind...
White Night, Black Stallion
braided mane
one last mistake is all I ever wanted
one last mistake
one last mistake 


© 2014 TrilbyYates 

Friday, April 25, 2014

Slightly Off Key

How well you thought
you knew me;
not so long ago
when I walked
the rocky coast
late at night -
New England rag tag shore line
But, it was in my darkest hours
that you seemed to fade away...
An ambiguous image
blurred and out of view
Like two proverbial battle weary ships,
in the light of a new day
pass and collide unacknowledged;
there is so much I have left to say...
Such an utter shame to be left adrift 
in a turbulent lonely sea,
when the heart has been 
tenderly rescued and repaired
our love song remains on a repetitive replay
uninterrupted yet slightly off key...
And yes, sometimes I wonder
what I truly meant to you;
and more often then not,
what you truly meant to me - or what we could ever do
in peaceful revery 
It was never a matter of pride or ego
as time moves forward for us all -
the continuous ticking of our mortal clock
there are moments that move too fast
and some moments move too slow..

While I reluctantly examined the past, 
fearful of what I would find
fearful of what I may not
and willingly unable to let it all go...

Uninterrupted, yet slightly off key
not knowing what I meant to you
...knowing what you ultimately meant to me...


© 2014 TrilbyYates 

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Happier Days Are On The Rise

Surprised at the emotions
spurred by photographs of you
a past romance and tenderness
not forgotten.
But a touch of fear
begins to surface - a simple notion
from chest to throat,
a slight pulse rise.
What if you feel
my lingering thoughts,
as they pass from here to there?
Would you even care?
No barriers when the mind
shoots energy into time and space;
dare I enter this long ago place?
...the wave surfaces
once more...

I have often wondered
about you,
and all that you
would become.
Never regretting
moments shared;
entangled lovers,
even as we exposed
the most vulnerable
parts of ourselves...
Was it a lack of trust
that spiraled the two of us
in a different direction?
As your hand slipped from mine,
there seemed little to be said -
no loss of affection, 
it was never about rejection...
there was no reason, no rhyme
...warmhearted
words remain unspoken...

Our lives intertwined
repeatedly over time
as if the Gods had a plan.
Now, as I look to my left
there is a young boy
that mirrors images of innocence,
a youthful - you and me.
And, although I knew intuitively;
fear being my only guide,
of what was meant to be.
Consequences ebb and flow
today with reason and with rhyme
all my purpose and intent
I continually suppose...
What might have been - 

Choices made and reality borrowed
there is always time for tears and sorrow
I have had my share - you too, I may never know.
But I will always remember one thing to be true
it was a gentler time shared between
me and you...
Happier days are on the rise ~


© 2014 TrilbyYates     

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Reminisce With Fondness

If the stars had been aligned 
and the winds blew 
a gentler breeze from the east 
crossing over the Sound
arriving on lands end
and a full harvest moon 
had been on the rise 
maybe then 
we would have realized 
life is a short seductive story 
bitter sweet at times
and the best is not always 
yet to come...
Knowing all too well 
that the here and now 
hold all the glory 
of star gazing moments 
that capture the heart 
and move the soul
to pleasant tears
and to never let go...
Even with all odds
against us
swimming with the tide
sentiments unknown
on this first day of spring 
thoughts wander 
the imagination drifts 
like a message in a bottle 
floating out to sea 
our secret love poems
entwined with devotion 
cherished times of holding hands 
and kisses deep into the night...

I do reminisce with fondness ~ 

© 2014 TrilbyYates   

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Note To MB

(Scene set up: this was written a while ago...wounded pride, ego kept me from posting...but with all things as time passes so does negativity...moving forward brighter days ahead!)

Note to MB:

Nothing is keeping my feet on the ground 
short flight from yesterday 
filling up on jet fuel 
to keep all those tattered demons away.
And how do I separate you 
from a gift from God -
...when my heart was highjacked back in the day 
with a love that flowed forever so freely 
from him to me eyes so green it made my heart ache!
Now and then I walk past his grave 
and a hand from the "heavenly beyond" catches me off guard 
with a sense of warmth and recollection.

Today I question your intentions and my own 
because I don't need or want you 
the way I did him...

With warm regards for better luck next time around,
TY


© 2013 Trilby  

Thursday, October 31, 2013

My Heart Reveals It All

Summer slumber 
dreams
billow in a warm breeze
while fall steps out 
in colored glory 
and my heart reflects
all that have come 
and all that have gone 
regret seems 
a shallow grave 
without substance 
or worry
so as time passes... and it does 
questions 
of what it all meant 
rise above 
the sense of loss 
but you my friend... heart felt
held me 
through the night 
and watched 
the sun rise 
did you wonder 
...what would become of this newly felt love 
or would you watch it 
fade away 
like any other day 
as the tides of life 
rise and fall
winter winds blow 
and spring's thaw is inevitable
you remain hidden away
yet my heart reveals it all... 

© 2013 Trilby   

Friday, April 19, 2013

I Am Lost

Deep in the night 
dreams chase 
whimsical songs
such sweet serenade 
dearest reverie 
your image 
never fades 
and I have found 
myself 
in bed 
with a stranger 
hands 
that do not fit 
words 
that cast shadows 
abstract rhetoric
does not ring true
Saint Christopher 
falling to the floor
I am lost...

Closing my eyes 
tranquility 
in the darkness
I feel you 
holding me close 
floating away 
in your memory 
safe and sound
once again... 

© 2013 Trilby