Dear Jerry,

I found your jacket downstairs, original Porsche emblem along with a Bert’s Bees lip balm - initials “JY” artistically printed on the cap with your signature black Sharpie. While it made me smile and memories flooded every crack in this weary façade; that has failed me miserably I might add - there is a sense of joy to have even the smallest of treasures to hold onto.

I've had a year to feel the stress and stain of tears that push their way up and over me, not taking the time to seep slowly through, more like a tidal wave, unexpected at times and powerful; as much of a master as I once was at reveal and conceal, I no longer have the energy to pull away from what has been the happiest time in my life even if it causes an endless emotional jag. Yes love, bitter sweet. Denial is no longer an option.

So I'll linger here for a while with thoughts of us and won’t move from this place without a fight to maintain the clarity of the memories that I hold so dear…

I love you, forever and always...and then some,
Yours,
Trilby

Random thoughts:

- My heart has lost a beat...skipping in a way that is out of sync with the rhythm that we kept so close to the vest - as if we were unique in a world full of narcissistic lovers…

- Seagulls fly close to the sand with a wing span that reaches out to the vast ocean, wide endless and as deep as my sorrow, with no direction or destination known. I can close my eyes, still see your face, I listen to an obscure artist sing a pleading song of love and devotion - lyrics that ring loudly in surround sound, “…dance with me to the colors of the dust…dance with me to the colors of the dust…” ~ because that’s all we are at the end of the day, from the beginning of time until our last breath fades off into and away ~ there is so much I have yet to behold…















Love of the Loved

Each time I look into your eyes,
I see that there, there heaven lies.
And as I look,
I see the love of the loved.

Some day they'll see that from the start,
My place has been deep in your heart.
And in your heart
I see the love of the loved.

Though I've said it all before,
I will say it more and more
Now that I'm really sure you love me.
And I know that from today,
I'll see it in the way
That you look at me and say, ah, you love me.

So let it rain, I'll never care?
Deep in your heart, I'll still be there.
And when I'm there,
I see the love of the loved.

Though I've said it all before,
I will say it more and more
Now that I'm really sure you love me.
And I know that from today,
I'll see it in the way
That you look at me and say, ah, you love me.

So let it rain, I'll never care?
Deep in your heart, I'll still be there.
And when I'm there,
I see the love of the loved,
I see the love of the loved,
I see the love of the loved.

Writers: Lennon, McCartney; lead vocal: McCartney

© 2008 Pamela Yates © 2007 Gerard Yates