A new beginning...

To all that may be following this blog I've created a new website to push myself into writing more, better content and an attempt to shoot for the stars! Live readings and maybe publication!

Trilbyyates.com

Hope to see y'all there!

I Will Walk Over A Bridge

I will walk over a bridge,
a bridge -
walk over a bridge historically symbolic
I will walk over a bridge
with mothers, sisters, daughters, fathers, brothers and sons
Connected by our difference and commonality

The raven will fly high above
black wing span casting a luminous shadow
the unknown
the other side
what to expect
anticipation is an angst; a suicide knot 
unless faith in my path can raise me up 
- and I trust that it will

I will feel the flutter
of Angel's wings from the past
Angel's wings will brush against my cheek
familiar and comforting
and I will push forward
I will let fear dissipate into the wind

I will hear your words
I will see your anger
I will feel your heart beat - keeping true to my own rhythm
A split second decision - finger on the trigger
An unfortunate shift in the tide
- my destination will remain the same

My only question - 

Will you ever look up at me through the eyes of your God,
instead of down the barrel or through the eye of your gun … click

© 2016 TrilbyYates

Breathe Easy

It's that shading time 
of in-between 
end of daylight 
and the start of nighttime 
when shadows lose their definition 
and begin to morph 
into a quiet spaceless-ness 

When love wraps itself around 
all the worlds creatures 
with the warmth and security 
of a lovers arms 
or the way a parent would embrace 
- their child 

Dusk, a space in time 
when there is no beginning, 
middle or end 
- it is more of a fading off
a drifting away 
slow motion pause
a place that is unconditional
forever constant... 

A place I tend to breathe easy


© 2016 TrilbyYates
 



 

Looming Weapon Of Destruction

I am not afraid because you say I do not exist 
I will not question my own faith 
or hide in the shadows 
of your looming weapon of destruction
...on the contrary
- If to you, I do not exist, you can never destroy me 

If I am the water slipping through your fingers 
you can never drink me, drown me;
or use me to wash away the stain of your choices
If I am the sand beneath your feet 
you can never use me or my labors
to build your castles in the sky 
Because when the tide rises 
I will wash away into the glorious sea
I will be of no use to you - only to me
If I am the flip side of your bigotry, 
the brunt of your misogyny or racism;
prisoner chained by your legislated laws 
If my protected rights 
are restricted by your ignorance,
by the stroke of your pen -
None of this will impact me

You see,

I am not afraid because you say I do not exist 
I will not question my own faith 
or hide in the shadows 
of your looming weapon of destruction
...on the contrary
- if to you, I do not exist you can never destroy me. 

If I am indeed the flip side of what you are 
than nothing about you can touch me 
Because I am invisible in your world, 
I do not exist and my power is in - that I am 
- and your ignorance keeps you oblivious
My power is that you can not destroy 
what you do not believe in or acknowledge 
You stand on a podium to impose your stance, your presence 
You and the like, use fraud as a "prop" to legitimize ego
I stand on my own 
I stand with my feet planted 
in Mother Earth
My head high, eyes to the sky - rain or shine 
There is no one that will ever hold me higher 
than I hold myself

You see,

I am not afraid because you say I do not exist 
I will not question my own faith 
or hide in the shadows 
of your looming weapon of destruction
...on the contrary
- if to you, I do not exist you can never destroy me.

© 2016 TrilbyYates 

Revolution

It's raining down collective societal conscience  
a shift, slap and pat down of fear based rhetoric
something so sinister it retracts common morality;
lean to the right and hear a reptilian hiss...
dissipating truth from fiction
power is an addiction - if we slither in groups
  
It's something we can find in our history books
flashback resource of tales and stories told
and as the sisterhood and brotherhood of humanity
are pushed to its limits, hands and tongues bound
a night like this is more dangerous than most
while we flip through the networks and watch
- media spins as we begin to crumble from the top...

But nothing else will set us free 
nothing else will let us float around 
without hitting the four corners 
and there is something soothing 
about the tapping sound of water 
as it taps, taps, taps on a tin can
with the ambiance of tar and paper
peeling back the layered years

It is the soothing sound of a revolution

...hearing the water running down 
outside on a window frame; window pane - shutters 
reaching out, coiling within inciting violence
running like the devil is chasing angels 
shatter proof - a ghastly scene feathers falling at our feet

Floating around without hitting the four corners
puddle jumpers splash...with delight 
and there is nothing as soothing 
as the tapping sound of water 
as it taps, taps, taps on a tin can
with the ambiance of tar and paper
peeling back the layered years

It is the soothing sound of a revolution

© 2016 TrilbyYates 

The Women I Love

You are beautiful women;
strong, reflective, mighty
Weeping willow, bending with the wind - not opposing it
Fighting your demons, your battles with endurance and dignity 
I am in awe of you, I am in awe of you
The pages of your book,
a slow read for a woman like me
Each turning of a word,
a page full of awakening and awareness 
Years of discovery
Years of uncovering 
your facade 
Finding your truth,
your truth 
Your story - your way
Each page exposing another layer
A complicated life, a simple life
 - and like a flower in partial bloom 
the best is yet to be revealed
I remain in the shadows...slowly descending
Outstretched wing span of an eagle, 
heart and soul of a dove;
the power of a free bird in flight 
Delicate wings of an angel
An image of godliness that takes my breath away
You bring tears to my eyes, an ache to my heart,
the way a new mother feels at the first sight of her child
A feeling of greatness, humility and expansion,
that bursts into nothingness, vast and boundary-less  
You are a magnificent creature 
You are beautiful women
strong, reflective, mighty
I remain in the shadows...slowly descending
A weeping willow, bending with the wind - not opposing it
Fighting your demons, your battles with endurance and dignity 
I am in awe of you, I am in awe of you

© 2016 TrilbyYates 

One Word

Just one word, one word - sharp and cutting.
Gut reaction.
Automatic visceral response.
Anger, fear, shame, confusion, bewilderment.
One word, domino effect, emotional draining flash back
...punch in the stomach, what the fuck not quite an epiphany
slow realization, an unwinding.
Slow with meaning.
A learning; knowledge filled shaping, the future bend.
Young girl unknown meaning, one word
A pattern - "…you wait outside…"
Sunny Saturday, waiting outside.
"…you can't come in, but we can play together, my father says you're a wop..."
"My father says you're like a nigger, like a monkey, we don't let animals in our house; except the cat and dog, but we can play together…"
Fifteen years later, I helped her elope.
She climbed out of her bedroom window, 
I waited down the street in my VW Bus.
We drove to the town hall and she married a man of color.

Just one word, one more word - sharp and cutting.
Gut reaction.
Automatic visceral response.
Anger, fear, shame, confusion, bewilderment.
One word, domino effect, emotional draining flash back
...punch in the stomach, what the fuck not quite an epiphany
slow realization, an unwinding.
Slow with meaning.
A learning; a knowledge filled shaping, a future bend.
Young girl unknown meaning, one word,
"…I like you, but my brother said I can't because you're a dago…"
A pattern - "…we can still like each other but no one can know…"
We walked past each other in the halls, middle school, high school.
Our eyes would meet, we would smile, but we both knew what we didn't know.
Ten years later, you became my lover.
We spent the summer together, we didn't talk about the past but it was there.
We both understood, we knew and we cried together.
I said goodbye to you in September,
and watched your motorcycle fade off into the sunset.

Just one word, one word - sharp and cutting.
Gut reaction.
Automatic visceral response.
Anger, fear, shame, confusion, bewilderment.
One word, domino effect, emotional draining flash back
...punch in the stomach, what the fuck not quite an epiphany
slow realization, an unwinding.
Slow with meaning.
A learning; knowledge filled shaping, the future bend.
Young girl unknown meaning, one word.
It only takes one word…

© 2016 TrilbyYates

Tidal Push

February, Valentines Day 2007. We celebrated the way lovers do. We had hope and such a bright future planned. Our time felt fluid and the perfection was without mention...

Two days later it was as if someone had cut the cord; our lifeline snapped and everything changed, shifted forever. Lung cancer, stage 4... 

We now had a new plan and new future - time did not stand still; time was no longer fluid, we now had a defined time limit. 

Everyday we would drive to the hospital. The same route; same twists and turns in the road. The changing seasons; a white winter snow, new growth and the warmth of spring, hot summer sun...and the mysterious golden glow of fall. 

We would talk, if you felt up to it; keeping things light and hopeful...only a few more rounds of Chemo left, then we can look for that house on the water... back to our plans, back to our plans - wishful thinking...naive, yet hopeful. 

I would look over at you, sitting in the passengers seat of our Mini Cooper, pale and thin; the pain in my heart was deep - beyond expression. You would smile at me and take my hand to your lips and kiss my fingers; thanking me for being with you and not letting go...we had always promised we would never let go...

One fall night, our last ride on that road, same twists and turns - this time you rode in the back, I was up front in the passengers seat; sirens blaring - the tide rushed up and took you away, I wasn't ready then...I'm not ready now.

Over the years as I drove around town, I would look over to the passengers seat, I could feel your presence. I found comfort knowing you were still with me, your spirit hadn't left and selfishly, not wanting to let go, I held on. I held on and on, white knuckling it at times; fearful of the day when I would get in the car and you would be gone.

February, Valentines Day 2016. The tide came up without warning, water rushed in and took you away again - I wasn't ready then, and I'm not ready now...  but time does not stand still for anyone and our life plans did change; eight years have passed. 

The tidal push left me in the wake of loss and letting go - my choices now, like then are limited. Not life or death, but a change. Change is a necessity, moving forward is a life line to taking a deep breath in and a slow breath out.  A new Mini Cooper, a new future... and if I look over to the passenger seat, I'm hopeful that I will feel you there once more...

© 2016 TrilbyYates

I Want

I walk a fine line, a tight rope from polar vortex to polar vortex 
A non space in the middle troposphere that extends into the stratosphere 
Earthly fears never hold me back; I don't ever look back
...except when reminiscing over candle light

I am a borderline narcissist as most of my friends;
- but isn't that just being human?
Isn't that all part of our DNA?
Don't blame mom and pop, blame Dr. Who with a foggy recollection
Dyno-gen pool mix and match his and hers blended 
Soaring colors shoot into the darkest pockets of a night sky 
Full moon blitz aurora borealis splintered shock wave dash!

I want to dance
- and sing; play my guitar 
I want to write with no inhibitions 
I want my passions to have no limits 
I want to kiss with no intention 
Love with no expectations 
Hold the one next to me
as if it is our last day 
on this lovely planet 
Our last day driving this vehicle 
into the ground 
And when my spirit lets go of the wheel 
there will be a band playing my favorite songs
The lights dim and the tight rope will snap
Sparks will soar whip lash perfection
My life will become beautiful once again


© 2016 TrilbyYates

No Beginning No End

I take words like a source of energy 

spinning them into a beautiful telling novella 

emotional roller coaster ride 

power ball spin into the heavens

They have no beginning, they have no end 

I gently lay them out on a vaporous

black velvet texture-less veil

the words pop like firecrackers 

sparks fly intentions soar 

and if they don't I toss them into a golden cup 

shake them up and throw them out again and again

They have no beginning, they have no end  

I take my pen a relic transformed 

into a thin strand of silver thread 

weaving it in and out stinging words together 

like an artist would create a master piece 

from the heart beating pulse blood soaked 

revealing reaching the depths of the soul

They have no beginning, they have no end  

I carry my treasured

translucent fixations 

ebb and flow emotions

my world of words

has no beginning 

it has no end

© 2016 TrilbyYates