Shifting Blame Shifting Time

Shifting time, shifting blame
an overly exposed place to be
Like an old black and white film
silence in the dramatic - pronunciation
classification weakened domination
of thought and word daydreams soothing 
It is a beautifully worn white albatross
hanging with ease from your neck - you never take it off
...moved quietly with your tender touch
to the deepest part of my lost heart
Take the time to search it out
and walk gingerly through my shadow
Walk carefree and with ease
the vision is deep - the vision is wide
Please be careful not to disrupt my solitude
shifting blame, shifting time
It has been years to my amazement
I sometimes count them in my sleep 
the way I hear the second hand moving
similar calming of counting sheep
Wishing I could somehow forget
forget the sound of your heavenly name
Wishing if only time could stand still
and everything that stood still - would remain the same
When you are alone in those private moments
a soft wind will blow tousling your hair about
A spray from the ocean will come across the bow
and your thoughts will be taken from here to there
And when the day begins to fade 
turning into that peaceful space of gray
The sun slipping off to the west 
and the moon begins to rise
I'll stand on my side of the Sound
and play back every word you ever said
Every word etched in memorial stone 
skipping lost seashells across the bay
and continue to wonder shifting time shifting blame
- what the fuck happened to you anyway... 

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Red Balloon

A fine line between what is said
and what is meant
when passion hides
behind well wishes and glances
on the other side of friendship
and no one knows better
than Madame Bovary
if love will come or
love will go
the extra mile or
fade off into a slow burn
sun rises and sets
with each lie that innocently
drips from lips of gold
like spilt wine from high end crystal
visions of happily ever after
play out in the perfection of a Truffaut flick
and optimism is a red balloon
that is chased after and never caught…

                                                                  unobtainable high… 

© 2015 TrilbyYates 

Power Of Love

A bit of nostalgia
floats through the air
a chill from the west side of Long Island
it blows across the Sound
in a whisper
a tiny voice
fingers to lips, hush
steel guitar serenading
is like a gentle touch
to a tattered heart
a mellow reminder
that fairy tales never fade
and time makes room
for the next chapter
of a very long story
sand and shells
music and memories
your kiss - a soothing testament
to the powers of love… 

© 2015 TrilbyYates 

Footsteps In The Sand

When the veil is shed layer by layer 
A glimmering light from the never forgotten 
Is dulled by the glow of a not to distant future 
A shift in ones heart beat and state of mind 
Will ride out the storm that peacefully anticipates
The reoccurrence when the Widow meets the Captain 
From years ago on a tempestuous night 
In a far a way land when the past and present 
Did not collide leading two souls 
To fall from one pedestal to another 
Only to land in loving hands 
That could not be denied 
Yet forbidden in a world 
Of choice and morality 
Atonement as a Guardian Angel 
So lines do not become blurred  
Or washed out to sea 
As the tide sweeps away 
Lover’s footsteps in the sand 
Only to long for another time
To create those footsteps once again…

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Can't Judge A Book By Its Cover

You look at me with wide eyes 
and wonder
I tell you - you cant judge a book 
by its cover
And I'm asking you 
to take a moment
Take a quiet moment
and think it through
...I never said 
I walked on water
but I can feel 
the magic in the air
and I remember
it was never 
just a causal affair
And I know I don't need you
but I know that I want you
I know - that I want you
- until the end of our time
In that moment
when you take,
that quiet moment
and think it through;
let all the bright beautiful light
seep into you
Let the wind 
bring you back 
to the boy 
that held my hand
when we jumped the track
Singing our song
rhythm and rhyme
let it bring you back 
to the innocence
of that moment in time
- when I needed you
Remember when 
I needed you
- I'm not waiting,
not waiting
...and neither should you
I never said 
I walked on water
but I can feel 
the magic in the air
and I remember
it was never 
just a causal affair
And I know I don't need you
but I know that I want you
I know - that I want you
- until the end of our time

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Move Through You

I would love 
to move through you 
To see what you see 
To switch it up 
without the knowledge 
or fallout 
Have the ability 
to fall madly in love 
with you 
...with the simplicity 
to detach 
from that love 
with ease 
To hold on 
so tightly 
with a feeling of 
"I've just seen God..." 
To letting go 
with a sense of 
"...to close for comfort!" 
Take a deep breath 
sigh of relieve 
Freedom blustering high 
No strings 
No albatross dangling 
like a piece of cheap jewelry 
hanging around my neck - 
I would love 
to move through you 
To see what you see 
To switch it up 
without the knowledge
or fallout 
Have the ability 
to fall madly in love with you
fall madly in love with you...

© 2015 TrilbyYates

The Edge

Cafe Dark Nights 
For the sleek and slender
Of mind and heart
The scent of cappuccino
And espresso brewing
Poured seductively
Into delicate imported
Fine China cups
Intellectual chatter floats
As light as a feather
From table to candle lit table
With a Beatnik snap
Of the fingers - an antiquated signal
Of artistic approval
Long pause and a deep sigh
Your body brushes past
My emotionally charged senses
And a mental note is made
The mind surrenders
To a fantasy land 
Of black seamed silk stockings
And hard passionate kisses
A scene from Cabaret 
We make the best
Of last chances - one more time
As provocative poetry is read
The spoken word brings life
And added ambiance to the candle light
Burning your eyes into mine
Your hand belongs in mine
Such a perfect fit
Like a Gucci glove that costs - too much
But we have been willing - to spend
What we don't have
What we can't afford
With hope and optimism
The next step is casually mentioned
Never seeing the light of day
Because we both know
The high price of living
So close - to the edge

© 2014 TrilbyYates

Music Time

I fell in love with a boy
who held music in his hands
like a fragile thought
that could easily slip away
it filled his heart
like there was never
enough time
for all the notes to play
making his chest ache
the way mine did
every time he kissed
my finger tips
we would make love
on the music room floor
while searching for inspiration
knowing it was only
moments away
nothing seemed beyond our reach
so we would wait
and watch the sunrise
slowly coming up and over the city streets
there is such beauty in the breaking of dawn
hitting high notes within the perfection
of a continuous and endless line
listening closely until we couldn't - dance any more
...remember my name - he'd say
I would look deep into his eyes
while strumming my guitar
never missing a note
his face etched in the most cherished
place in my mind and we both knew
I was his and he was mine
we would be forever - connected in music time

© 2014 TrilbyYates

Dear Bartender

Pen to paper can be intimidating - old school writing feels awkward when it has been years since the last time I actually put...pen to paper. But on this trip no laptop, no word processing devices - didn't think to bring anything along to write with...front desk, sweet faced young man - red curly hair and blue eyes accommodates all requests made by the patrons staying at the 1661 Inn; even if that means some improvising. Carefully he tares out several sheets of paper from his note book and hands me a pen apologetically - as if he thinks it isn't good enough - there is just enough of a pause and hesitation in his gesture, a dead give away; but it is perfect for what I need. My head is filling up and overflowing with words and it's time to write or I will forget - which is never a good option for me - I don't seem to do well with regret...all those pearls of wisdom, jewels of thought so perfectly strung together, lost...gone forever! Tragic I think, as I step outside into the old world of Block Island. 

It is an oceanic-transformation that I can feel in the pit of my stomach - brave soul they say, going away all by your self... 

Out and about on the island, hands of the grandfather clock tick tock - 6:00PM; I walk down Spring Street to the Hotel Manisses for a drink - standing behind the bar is a July summer sun tanned handsome man talking to all the guests as if he has known them for years. Bartender lingo pro is quick, witty and charming; he chats comfortably - earning every dollar that is being rung up quicker then a blink in a turn of the century ornate quasi cash register. He looks at me, smiles and asks - what's your pleasure beautiful lady? Clearing my throat - a vodka tonic with a twist of lime please. The bartender asks...any particular Vodka? My reply clumsy, but attempting to act as if in the know...Tito's please, if you have it? He smiles and winks; continues to chat up the other customers - they are affectionately letting him know how thrilled they are that he decided to return to the Manisses for another season -  a multitasking Svengali!

My plan for the evening is to have a drink outside on the patio where I wont appear so obviously solo on the most romantic island in New England - but, if I have learned anything in this life, plans can change as quickly as the wind...

The bartender places a coaster and my Tito and tonic with a fresh slice of lime on the bar...he asks if I would hang around for a while - the drink is on him. Again the smile - slightly blushing I agree and thank him. He waits and watches as I take a sip...looking up from my glass into his eyes - a striking sea blue color - I can see a glimmer of approval and I smile back at him - with the straw still between my lips. And I wonder, does one, drink a "Tito" and tonic with a fresh slice of lime through a straw or sip from the glass...

By the second drink we are talking with more openness, as if we have also known each other for years; about inconsequential things, silly light things - music, songs - good music and bad music - is there any future in music, film. The Yankees and the Red Socks - World Cup, America's Cup - and how to steam the best lobster in the entire world. The conversation shifts back and forth, from day to day interests cautiously to personal - what do you do, what are your dreams, married, kids, in a relationship, out of one - how long. 

Some people enter the bar dressed for dinner or more casual, just stop by for a quick drink after a long day on the beach or out sailing around the island. The walls begin to drift away and vanish. Comfort and ease replace my sense of being alone on my visit and sitting in a bar full of couples and - yes, flirting with, not just a bartender, but "the" most beloved  bartender on Block island.

The conversation flows like a fine wine - how cliche, but sometimes the best or worst cliches work for a reason...they fit like a fine pair of haute couture gloves. 

We chat and laugh. He asks what my plans are for the night - I'm going to finish my drink and walk back to the inn and write. He leans in and asks if I will wait for him to finish up and maybe we can walk together. Maybe he can buy me another drink at a local slow dancing dimly lit beach bar in the Old Harbor. And maybe afterward he can talk me into going back to his place. 

Feeling verbally uninhibited now - you just want me to sleep with you! I jokingly gasp. He laughs and with a slight nod he says -  you got me darlin, confirmation of ulterior motives, I confess. Is that really what you think? An intense serious look crosses his face, strangely I'm drawn to him because of it. There is an air of honesty and sincerity in his expression and eyes.

Not sure what to think. Maybe I'm completely delusional in thinking anything; that this person has any interest in sleeping with me - and now I'm feeling a little silly. A little - but not completely embarrassed; a bit off guard maybe and slightly vulnerable.

He can sense my discomfort and says in his best Cary Grant - it is a perfect night for a walk darling...come on beautiful think about it. 

You my new friend can make one hell of a great "Tito" and tonic with a slice of fresh lime, but can not give me what I want or need - And, not an afterthought, but I don't just sleep with every pretty face I meet when vacationing alone in paradise...he smiles again and says, how do you know I can't give you what you want or need? What do you want? Do you know what you need? A little music, a slow dance, the sounds of the ocean...candle light...we all need that don't we?

Ah yes my dear bartender, sweet lovely bartender - handsome and most likely too young for me in the real world bartender...are you sure you want to hear this? Are you sure you are ready and can handle what I will say? I've had a few, wonderfully made I might add, drinks with you and the gift of gab has not been lost on either of us. 

Straight up honest shooter, he replies - I like that. 

Ok handsome, get ready...

I want...
...someone to take my hands hold them tenderly and kiss them, 
look into my eyes and know it is enough. 
I want...
... someone to kiss my lips and take my breath away,
look into my eyes and know it is enough. 
I want... 
...someone to say all the words that will fill both our hearts and ring true, perfect tone, not hollow or off key - 
look into my eyes and know it is enough. 
I want and need ...
...a friend, a lover that can feel, see and accept all of my history, my imperfections without judgement,
look into my eyes and know that it is enough. 
I want and need...
... a friend a lover that knows in his core being that when he looks into my eyes the love between us is unconditional and reciprocated and that it is enough.

How's that for starters?

Well, he says quietly, taking my hands and holding them in his - they feel warm and soft - not weak. He looks at me closely and brings my hands to his lips...he kisses them - he closes his eyes for a moment...and then looks at me again - he whispers, where have you been all of my life beautiful? 

I know it's a cliche but it fit like a fine pair of haute couture gloves...

© 2014 TrilbyYates      

Happier Days Are On The Rise

Surprised at the emotions
spurred by photographs of you
a past romance and tenderness
not forgotten.
But a touch of fear
begins to surface - a simple notion
from chest to throat,
a slight pulse rise.
What if you feel
my lingering thoughts,
as they pass from here to there?
Would you even care?
No barriers when the mind
shoots energy into time and space;
dare I enter this long ago place?
...the wave surfaces
once more...

I have often wondered
about you,
and all that you
would become.
Never regretting
moments shared;
entangled lovers,
even as we exposed
the most vulnerable
parts of ourselves...
Was it a lack of trust
that spiraled the two of us
in a different direction?
As your hand slipped from mine,
there seemed little to be said -
no loss of affection, 
it was never about rejection...
there was no reason, no rhyme
...warmhearted
words remain unspoken...

Our lives intertwined
repeatedly over time
as if the Gods had a plan.
Now, as I look to my left
there is a young boy
that mirrors images of innocence,
a youthful - you and me.
And, although I knew intuitively;
fear being my only guide,
of what was meant to be.
Consequences ebb and flow
today with reason and with rhyme
all my purpose and intent
I continually suppose...
What might have been - 

Choices made and reality borrowed
there is always time for tears and sorrow
I have had my share - you too, I may never know.
But I will always remember one thing to be true
it was a gentler time shared between
me and you...
Happier days are on the rise ~


© 2014 TrilbyYates     

Not Forgotten

Those days of laughter,
shared smiles,
a nod of knowing...
they aren't over yet 
are they?

Inquisitive questions
innocently posed in a way 
that only the high 
and mighty 
could possibly answer...

And when the heart 
feels even the slightest 
bit of anticipation  -
like a dove taking flight
...peaceful wings span,
joy and exhilaration 
occur when all is not lost 
or forgotten -

Resilience comes 
in many shades of blue,
profoundly humming
that loving tune...

The heart does not forget!

But, will fate step in?
...and as old tales are told 
like a wandering shepherd
searching from dusk til dawn
I could remain lost
forever alone...

When truly all I want 
is to feel the wind 
on my face - 
Feel the sand beneath 
my feet - 
Hear the sound of each note 
played -
Reach for your hand 
in the darkest of night 
and know...

We are not forgotten ~

Even if forbidden 
in a world of the faithful 
living faithless lives.

My choice 
to remain alone 
rather than settle 
for companionship.

To wait for
love so bold,
love that carries joy 
tenderly in each word 
volumes yet to be written 
in the deepest part 
of my soul worn and weary 
I continue to hold 
an open space for you -  

© 2013 Trilby 

Train Ride

                                                     Metro North ~ photo by TYates
Long train ride
NYC to CT
eyes close 
images sharpen 
and the senses 
seem unusually high 
and maybe 
it was the way 
you kissed me 
or the way your hand 
was gently placed 
in the lowest part 
of my back 
pulling me close 
swaying to the music 
dancing has never felt 
so seductive 
brushing my hair 
off my neck 
whispered words 
the rhythm 
soothing 
from the top 
of the crystalline 
mountain 
to the fiery depths 
of hell 
a moment in time 
holds tenderly 
perfection in memories
if nothing is accidental 
all has purpose and intent 
lessons lived 
and lessons learned 
explanations not needed 
when two ships 
in the night 
pass
and yet
remain connected -

...the conductor walks by, click, click...next stop Westport, walk two cars forward and watch your step... 

© 2013 Trilby 

Love In Vain

Out stretched
finger tips 
pleading
in the
darkest night 
somethings seem 
distant 
out of reach
do I ask for 
to much
and the wind 
carries our song
...Shuffle and flip
of the Tarot cards
all possibilities 
are put into mystical 
perspective 
the devil 
plays games 
with no one 
...Soul to soul 
wounded dove 
tiny petals fall 
from high above 
and whispers generate 
magical stirrings 
hope flourishes 
dead sea 
mambo jumbo 
you know I can sail 
with the best of them 
...Now and then 
on bended knee 
searching for 
a familiar face 
eye to eye
recognize
one more time
pure of heart
did I love in vain... 



© 2013 Trilby

Your Bracelet

A nondescript package 
arrived one day 
when the earth felt 
like it had stopped moving
and a continuous chill 
ran from my spine 
to the center of my chest 
breathing became a bore
without intention 
or respect
to slip away 
from coast to coast
shore to shore
would have been 
more than an effort 
time worthy energy spent
but here before me
a simple wrapping
revealing secrets 
sweet love affair
silver and gold 
lightening circles 
around and around 
sparks shooting 
memories 
across the sky 
flooding questions
who are you 
and who am I
prompting such 
sentimental remembrance
when time passes by
...I wear your bracelet
   
© 2013 Trilby

Wonder About You

Gentle motion 
sway 
your eyes reach 
across 
the distance and time 
remain the same
for me...
I often wonder about you
I often dream about you
never completely
sub-level mind
bend
unable to 
let go
...of
long talks
hand in hand 
slow walk 
from your car 
to mine
dock side 
harbor lights 
soften the moments
still frame 
halo glow 
surrounds 
that first kiss 
tender words 
spoken
your  fingers 
entwined
with mine
you turn
smile wide
looking back
I never truly walked 
away
time...and 
circumstance 
the depth 
of our romance
we will never know

...too often I wonder about you, dream about you

© 2013 Trilby

Déjà vu Love Affair

You kissed me first,
I remember it well,
laughter fills the air 
you flash that Sandbar grin
memories dock side 
keep flaunting happiness 
as if it were something 
attainable 
sustainable
not fleeting 
or a mere moment 
of joy 
from the past 
your eyes meeting mine
not the first time
déjà vu
quick glance
second chance 
my first Martini
Ohio nights
airline flights
and oh yes
fancy car
baked brie
you and me
we were always on
borrowed time 
some might judge 
harshly  
but the punishment 
would never 
fit the crime 
when something 
magical happens 
between two people
there is no reason
there is no rhyme  
it just is what it is 
a Blessing in disguise 
the push of the Universe
with all its pure intention
nothing is accidental
phases of life 
the twists and turns 
the process comes 
full circle 
with love and no concerns

...when I dream of misty nights 
with sails in the wind
waves begin to swell
a smile to my lips...

...that first kiss I knew it well

© 2013 Trilby