A new beginning...

To all that may be following this blog I've created a new website to push myself into writing more, better content and an attempt to shoot for the stars! Live readings and maybe publication!

Trilbyyates.com

Hope to see y'all there!

I Will Walk Over A Bridge

I will walk over a bridge,
a bridge -
walk over a bridge historically symbolic
I will walk over a bridge
with mothers, sisters, daughters, fathers, brothers and sons
Connected by our difference and commonality

The raven will fly high above
black wing span casting a luminous shadow
the unknown
the other side
what to expect
anticipation is an angst; a suicide knot 
unless faith in my path can raise me up 
- and I trust that it will

I will feel the flutter
of Angel's wings from the past
Angel's wings will brush against my cheek
familiar and comforting
and I will push forward
I will let fear dissipate into the wind

I will hear your words
I will see your anger
I will feel your heart beat - keeping true to my own rhythm
A split second decision - finger on the trigger
An unfortunate shift in the tide
- my destination will remain the same

My only question - 

Will you ever look up at me through the eyes of your God,
instead of down the barrel or through the eye of your gun … click

© 2016 TrilbyYates

Breathe Easy

It's that shading time 
of in-between 
end of daylight 
and the start of nighttime 
when shadows lose their definition 
and begin to morph 
into a quiet spaceless-ness 

When love wraps itself around 
all the worlds creatures 
with the warmth and security 
of a lovers arms 
or the way a parent would embrace 
- their child 

Dusk, a space in time 
when there is no beginning, 
middle or end 
- it is more of a fading off
a drifting away 
slow motion pause
a place that is unconditional
forever constant... 

A place I tend to breathe easy


© 2016 TrilbyYates
 



 

Looming Weapon Of Destruction

I am not afraid because you say I do not exist 
I will not question my own faith 
or hide in the shadows 
of your looming weapon of destruction
...on the contrary
- If to you, I do not exist, you can never destroy me 

If I am the water slipping through your fingers 
you can never drink me, drown me;
or use me to wash away the stain of your choices
If I am the sand beneath your feet 
you can never use me or my labors
to build your castles in the sky 
Because when the tide rises 
I will wash away into the glorious sea
I will be of no use to you - only to me
If I am the flip side of your bigotry, 
the brunt of your misogyny or racism;
prisoner chained by your legislated laws 
If my protected rights 
are restricted by your ignorance,
by the stroke of your pen -
None of this will impact me

You see,

I am not afraid because you say I do not exist 
I will not question my own faith 
or hide in the shadows 
of your looming weapon of destruction
...on the contrary
- if to you, I do not exist you can never destroy me. 

If I am indeed the flip side of what you are 
than nothing about you can touch me 
Because I am invisible in your world, 
I do not exist and my power is in - that I am 
- and your ignorance keeps you oblivious
My power is that you can not destroy 
what you do not believe in or acknowledge 
You stand on a podium to impose your stance, your presence 
You and the like, use fraud as a "prop" to legitimize ego
I stand on my own 
I stand with my feet planted 
in Mother Earth
My head high, eyes to the sky - rain or shine 
There is no one that will ever hold me higher 
than I hold myself

You see,

I am not afraid because you say I do not exist 
I will not question my own faith 
or hide in the shadows 
of your looming weapon of destruction
...on the contrary
- if to you, I do not exist you can never destroy me.

© 2016 TrilbyYates 

Revolution

It's raining down collective societal conscience  
a shift, slap and pat down of fear based rhetoric
something so sinister it retracts common morality;
lean to the right and hear a reptilian hiss...
dissipating truth from fiction
power is an addiction - if we slither in groups
  
It's something we can find in our history books
flashback resource of tales and stories told
and as the sisterhood and brotherhood of humanity
are pushed to its limits, hands and tongues bound
a night like this is more dangerous than most
while we flip through the networks and watch
- media spins as we begin to crumble from the top...

But nothing else will set us free 
nothing else will let us float around 
without hitting the four corners 
and there is something soothing 
about the tapping sound of water 
as it taps, taps, taps on a tin can
with the ambiance of tar and paper
peeling back the layered years

It is the soothing sound of a revolution

...hearing the water running down 
outside on a window frame; window pane - shutters 
reaching out, coiling within inciting violence
running like the devil is chasing angels 
shatter proof - a ghastly scene feathers falling at our feet

Floating around without hitting the four corners
puddle jumpers splash...with delight 
and there is nothing as soothing 
as the tapping sound of water 
as it taps, taps, taps on a tin can
with the ambiance of tar and paper
peeling back the layered years

It is the soothing sound of a revolution

© 2016 TrilbyYates 

The Women I Love

You are beautiful women;
strong, reflective, mighty
Weeping willow, bending with the wind - not opposing it
Fighting your demons, your battles with endurance and dignity 
I am in awe of you, I am in awe of you
The pages of your book,
a slow read for a woman like me
Each turning of a word,
a page full of awakening and awareness 
Years of discovery
Years of uncovering 
your facade 
Finding your truth,
your truth 
Your story - your way
Each page exposing another layer
A complicated life, a simple life
 - and like a flower in partial bloom 
the best is yet to be revealed
I remain in the shadows...slowly descending
Outstretched wing span of an eagle, 
heart and soul of a dove;
the power of a free bird in flight 
Delicate wings of an angel
An image of godliness that takes my breath away
You bring tears to my eyes, an ache to my heart,
the way a new mother feels at the first sight of her child
A feeling of greatness, humility and expansion,
that bursts into nothingness, vast and boundary-less  
You are a magnificent creature 
You are beautiful women
strong, reflective, mighty
I remain in the shadows...slowly descending
A weeping willow, bending with the wind - not opposing it
Fighting your demons, your battles with endurance and dignity 
I am in awe of you, I am in awe of you

© 2016 TrilbyYates 

One Word

Just one word, one word - sharp and cutting.
Gut reaction.
Automatic visceral response.
Anger, fear, shame, confusion, bewilderment.
One word, domino effect, emotional draining flash back
...punch in the stomach, what the fuck not quite an epiphany
slow realization, an unwinding.
Slow with meaning.
A learning; knowledge filled shaping, the future bend.
Young girl unknown meaning, one word
A pattern - "…you wait outside…"
Sunny Saturday, waiting outside.
"…you can't come in, but we can play together, my father says you're a wop..."
"My father says you're like a nigger, like a monkey, we don't let animals in our house; except the cat and dog, but we can play together…"
Fifteen years later, I helped her elope.
She climbed out of her bedroom window, 
I waited down the street in my VW Bus.
We drove to the town hall and she married a man of color.

Just one word, one more word - sharp and cutting.
Gut reaction.
Automatic visceral response.
Anger, fear, shame, confusion, bewilderment.
One word, domino effect, emotional draining flash back
...punch in the stomach, what the fuck not quite an epiphany
slow realization, an unwinding.
Slow with meaning.
A learning; a knowledge filled shaping, a future bend.
Young girl unknown meaning, one word,
"…I like you, but my brother said I can't because you're a dago…"
A pattern - "…we can still like each other but no one can know…"
We walked past each other in the halls, middle school, high school.
Our eyes would meet, we would smile, but we both knew what we didn't know.
Ten years later, you became my lover.
We spent the summer together, we didn't talk about the past but it was there.
We both understood, we knew and we cried together.
I said goodbye to you in September,
and watched your motorcycle fade off into the sunset.

Just one word, one word - sharp and cutting.
Gut reaction.
Automatic visceral response.
Anger, fear, shame, confusion, bewilderment.
One word, domino effect, emotional draining flash back
...punch in the stomach, what the fuck not quite an epiphany
slow realization, an unwinding.
Slow with meaning.
A learning; knowledge filled shaping, the future bend.
Young girl unknown meaning, one word.
It only takes one word…

© 2016 TrilbyYates

Tidal Push

February, Valentines Day 2007. We celebrated the way lovers do. We had hope and such a bright future planned. Our time felt fluid and the perfection was without mention...

Two days later it was as if someone had cut the cord; our lifeline snapped and everything changed, shifted forever. Lung cancer, stage 4... 

We now had a new plan and new future - time did not stand still; time was no longer fluid, we now had a defined time limit. 

Everyday we would drive to the hospital. The same route; same twists and turns in the road. The changing seasons; a white winter snow, new growth and the warmth of spring, hot summer sun...and the mysterious golden glow of fall. 

We would talk, if you felt up to it; keeping things light and hopeful...only a few more rounds of Chemo left, then we can look for that house on the water... back to our plans, back to our plans - wishful thinking...naive, yet hopeful. 

I would look over at you, sitting in the passengers seat of our Mini Cooper, pale and thin; the pain in my heart was deep - beyond expression. You would smile at me and take my hand to your lips and kiss my fingers; thanking me for being with you and not letting go...we had always promised we would never let go...

One fall night, our last ride on that road, same twists and turns - this time you rode in the back, I was up front in the passengers seat; sirens blaring - the tide rushed up and took you away, I wasn't ready then...I'm not ready now.

Over the years as I drove around town, I would look over to the passengers seat, I could feel your presence. I found comfort knowing you were still with me, your spirit hadn't left and selfishly, not wanting to let go, I held on. I held on and on, white knuckling it at times; fearful of the day when I would get in the car and you would be gone.

February, Valentines Day 2016. The tide came up without warning, water rushed in and took you away again - I wasn't ready then, and I'm not ready now...  but time does not stand still for anyone and our life plans did change; eight years have passed. 

The tidal push left me in the wake of loss and letting go - my choices now, like then are limited. Not life or death, but a change. Change is a necessity, moving forward is a life line to taking a deep breath in and a slow breath out.  A new Mini Cooper, a new future... and if I look over to the passenger seat, I'm hopeful that I will feel you there once more...

© 2016 TrilbyYates

I Want

I walk a fine line, a tight rope from polar vortex to polar vortex 
A non space in the middle troposphere that extends into the stratosphere 
Earthly fears never hold me back; I don't ever look back
...except when reminiscing over candle light

I am a borderline narcissist as most of my friends;
- but isn't that just being human?
Isn't that all part of our DNA?
Don't blame mom and pop, blame Dr. Who with a foggy recollection
Dyno-gen pool mix and match his and hers blended 
Soaring colors shoot into the darkest pockets of a night sky 
Full moon blitz aurora borealis splintered shock wave dash!

I want to dance
- and sing; play my guitar 
I want to write with no inhibitions 
I want my passions to have no limits 
I want to kiss with no intention 
Love with no expectations 
Hold the one next to me
as if it is our last day 
on this lovely planet 
Our last day driving this vehicle 
into the ground 
And when my spirit lets go of the wheel 
there will be a band playing my favorite songs
The lights dim and the tight rope will snap
Sparks will soar whip lash perfection
My life will become beautiful once again


© 2016 TrilbyYates

No Beginning No End

I take words like a source of energy 

spinning them into a beautiful telling novella 

emotional roller coaster ride 

power ball spin into the heavens

They have no beginning, they have no end 

I gently lay them out on a vaporous

black velvet texture-less veil

the words pop like firecrackers 

sparks fly intentions soar 

and if they don't I toss them into a golden cup 

shake them up and throw them out again and again

They have no beginning, they have no end  

I take my pen a relic transformed 

into a thin strand of silver thread 

weaving it in and out stinging words together 

like an artist would create a master piece 

from the heart beating pulse blood soaked 

revealing reaching the depths of the soul

They have no beginning, they have no end  

I carry my treasured

translucent fixations 

ebb and flow emotions

my world of words

has no beginning 

it has no end

© 2016 TrilbyYates

 

Not That Kid

Making gum wrapper chains  
snap pop New York kid shuffle
innocence was a game 
we never intended to play 
it was always like blowing smoke 
into the wind
choking on the fumes 
brown paper bag huffing
the last boat has sailed
and it doesn't matter any more
because the kid can't swim anyway 
and the Atlantic waters will chill to the bone
especially when you are floating - far far from home
and as the kid wanders and wonders 
about all the cracks in the pavement
and the footsteps that slide and shuffle - late in the night
all she recalls is the pop pop pop
and the rattle of a snake
reminiscent of an old western 1950s flick 
when only the bad guy wore black
and we all know the only snakes in the city 
wear haute couture suits
carrying pens of gold to seal deals 
that wreak havoc on the masses
and it doesn't matter where you stand - or if you stand at all
the view is the same city by city
country by country
power hungry fat cats 
belly protruding finger licking - scoping out the dessert tray
and when the fog doesn't lift quick
and it gets too thick where they sleep
the pie in the sky top floor will flip 
and shift from exclusive to tenement
and guess who is moving
where the air is clear and clean?
suddenly the eye level view 
becomes a treasured source - of pride and privilege
certainly not the kid from the block 
the kid that played Motown 
and danced in the streets
falling in love with the boy from upstate
a first kiss slow dance warm hands 
not the 2nd generation kid 
whose eyes haven't gentrified 
turning brown into blue
or a name with too many letters 
simplifying it to Joe or Sue
No, not that kid
Not that kid 
The kid we all were 
Or the kid we all knew...

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Christmas Songs

Tis the season, yes, tis the season
for joy, strength, purity of heart, purity of faith
unity in family, friends old and new
sharing and giving unconditional love
...yet there is a distance in the feel
of the Christmas songs 
- at least for me
a detached sense of how blessed
we are all supposed to be
when the world is exploding
walls going up, fear and hate soaring
the eagles fly high - the eagle flies alone
and the baby's cry and a child's scream
mother, father, sister, brother
running into harms way instead of into the arms
of someone familiar, someone who shares - the same bloodline
maybe they are not hiding on my street
or bleeding in my city but there is a haunting howl
that penetrates and scars the purity of a holy night
and there is no sleep or restful place in my home
the sounds are loud, the sounds are clear,
deafeningly loud and crystal clear
the cry is there for all to hear - where do I belong
and what if we don't, what if we tune out
turn up the volume on Christmas songs
drowning out the cries; what if we choose
to remain detached - and distant
wrapped in the warmth, wrapped in the safety
of our own homes; not knowing where I belong
what if we choose to close our hearts,
and block the sounds that are drowning out - the Christmas songs

© 2015 TrilbyYates

The Boys

Early morning, a few blinking street lights 
off in the distance 
Red flashing color slices its way through the darkness; 
"...stop don't rush the day has not dawned yet..." 
Perfection in, just bitter enough coffee 
with a dash of cinnamon - aroma therapy 
a sentimental tapping into a holiday season 
that has always resonated peace and good will 
I wonder what Francois drinks as the sun rises over the city of lights 
How strong the coffee is that slip between the lips 
of Vladimir as he saddles up for his A.M. ride photo op in-style
Or Bashar as he reads the daily obits 
sipping some strange brew, pondering what else is there is to do 
- rattle sabers background white noise 
I wonder, briefly, if Rivlin and Benjamin break bread 
while gathering stones 
And if Mamoud stays in bed a moment longer to clear his head 
before the first one is thrown
Does Barack grab a cup of joe while on the go
kissing his girls as he rushes to the daily debriefing 
And what if anything starts the day for Hassan and Mahmoud 
when a figure head is only recognized in the palace 
paper to pen and a pot of Persian tea simmers ever so slowly...

I think about things like this 
as I linger over the perfection in 
just bitter enough coffee with a dash of cinnamon - aroma therapy 
a sentimental tapping into a holiday season 
that has always resonated peace and good will

© 2015 TrilbyYates

My Lovers Gone

There is a story, 
it is my own 
It fills all the spaces and lines 
that lead in and around 
the deepest and most shallow 
- like a wading pool, or sandbar - water up to my knees 
floating sensation into the abyss of joyfulness 
- all part of my mind 
Energy free form soaring, bounding rhetoric 
leaving an indiscriminate mark of solace 
etched in a monogram of initials 
- for all of those I have loved 
Freeing words trickle out ever so slowly,
with no sense of urgency
but, as a delicate pearl of wisdom 
flowing freedom with the knowing 
of an ocean bed, comfort in its path 
More than okay with its journey - and its destination 
Carving a path that will change with each season,
with each tide pulled by the moon light, beckoning
like my lovers gone and I will continue on and on...

- floating sensation into the abyss of joyfulness...
like my lovers gone, and I will continue on and on

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Push The Beat

Oh man, man its a drop the straw from your mouth
head shaking spasm flash back to a past better left alone - moment
But anyway, remember, do you remember when I fell in love
and you didn't know what to do so you fell on your sword
- it only took that first drop of blood like a sign from the heavens above
that I was already in love with love and maybe not so much with you
And it really never made sense but felt damn good at the time
Right or wrong no one truly knows and yeah, I still don't sleep at night

You were like a kid in a candy shop; me, well I was the femme fatale 
wearing dark glasses, the shop keeper in a magic cape 
flying around throwing spells and fairy dust;
and when I turned the corner to take a deep introspective breath
you were stealing the baked goods and inventory 
- my heart shattered on the floor like splintered glass 
from a treasured past commonality you and me

So now when you want to share and reminisce; sing songs from the past
you should remember I like to slow things down and push the beat to a grind
Juke box four songs for a dime at least that's how I remember it, so...

Your arms felt good around my waist and if I close my eyes
dim the lights I can recall how it felt with my fingers
gently entwined through the strands your hair
and you would pull me close and take what little I had left
We laughed late into the night and never locked the doors

When you would leave I'd watch from the back seat
swearing that would be the last time and cursing the stars
as they fell from the sky for their brilliance and yours
...until you would throw stones at my window; revved up again

Could have been a jump start from story book romance cheap novels
bought and sold at Perry's Five and Dime other side of the track
and your fascination with folded pages in your father's Playboy mag
hidden in the laundry basket secret sleuth nothings lost 
when you're on the prowl

So now when you want to share and reminisce; sing songs from the past
you should remember I like to slow things down and push the beat to a grind
Juke box four songs for a dime at least that's how I remember it, so...

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Depression

Shades drawn closed 
darkness blankets 
every corner of the room 
shadows become one 
flattened and obscure 
off in the distance 
are muted sounds
a whistling tea pot 
hopefully someone 
will attend to its needs 
wrapped gingerly within 
solitary seclusion and doubt 
...insecurity has become 
a knife held to my throat 
by my own hand 
widow's lasting garb 
fits like a second skin 
forming tightly around 
my waist and chest
heart beats out of necessity 
blood flows like an encore 
I hide within the day to day 
smiles and conversation 
secretly counting the seconds 
to when I might feel 
somewhat alive again 
it comes and goes 
velvet waves washing over
and a twisting churning knot 
tightens in my chest 
familiar hand reaching deep
fingers entwined
a death grip crippling
sleep comes a timely relief 
if only temporary 
ghosts and dream screams 
flutter quietly about
softly stroking my cheek
cold and damp to touch
until I rise and begin again 
praying for resolve and relief

© 2015 TrilbyYates 

Someone Is Shouting Jihad

Clear Parisian sky 
a sweet night 
to live and die 
without purpose
or validation of intent
but a twist of fate 
walking down 
the Champs Elysees 
and in my heart 
there is a love song 
and bright city lights
and what is that 
I heard you say 
not in a soft whisper 
but accusatory verbiage
and solitary sob
someone is shouting Jihad
you have a cause 
but you have no home 
you hide, linger and roam 
and wander in obscurity 
blanketed chatter code 
distant and detached
from the pulse 
of the universe 
you were born 
to cherish and to hold
loyal to a higher source 
fantasy wild illusion 
of what may be waiting 
for your brothers
on the other side
there is no solution
there is no pride
stained in blood and flesh 
your stairway to heaven
is a fiery inferno 
leading not to the purity 
of innocent virgins 
as you have been told
but as a venomous snake 
you will find only darkness 
not shadow or light 
nor colors bright 
but an abyss 
of nothingness 
we create what we are
someone is shouting Jihad... 

© 2015 TrilbyYates 

Chris Matthews Throw Me A Life Line

Heard the words steam roller blow out
walking on a branch already broken
and the monsters of men want to challenge the path
I have already chosen - what's a non gender bender supposed to do?
And, and I look to you as a knight in shining armor
- and the villain on the tracks
But anyway that's my stuff, my story and I tell it well 
- if you stand still long enough to listen
I will maintain a glass half full mentality throughout most of the day
no need to tell me to keep the faith 
brighter days are coming soon
brighter days are on the way
and I'm still carrying my lackings around with an intense sense of pride
committed to never letting them go like the lovely lessons learned 
and bridges never burned, something my mum said a long time ago
…I digress, perdonatemi la mai famiglia
I'll continue to ride the wave when the oceans have dried
just close my eyes and recall the vision of the mighty Poseidon
and the sounds of water rushing against the tide
a wake up call just in case you missed the metaphor 
it's all right here in the third eye my own personal treasure 
reflections from the other side
when sand, sea and lies collide 
and it hasn't rained since the climate change naysayers 
spit directly into the wind
So I'm out here trying to find an umbrella 
but I'll settle for one rational thread that will give me a pass 
on what was written and believed to have been said 
or the misinterpretation of everyones fate
and I've always been told it's never too late - to ask for help

Chris Matthews throw me a life line
you are the only one that can pull the nation in
when everyone else relies on the bend in the road
or the guy in the hat who will cast the first stone
who boldly claims to have lived without sin
and the Svengali's are telling us - now, never, sink or swim

And all I can do is think about you and that's gotta count for something

Chris Matthews throw me a life line
you are the only one that can make the nation grin
when everyone else relies on the bend in the road
or the guy in the hat who casts the first stone
who boldly claims to have lived without sin
and the Svengali's are telling us - now, never, sink or swim

© 2015 TrilbyYates